We are humans and an emotional breed.
After a brief life span of evolving, we form and enter into relationships. It is our nature to be in alliances. They can be spouses, friends and anyone else, we put them on an emotional pedestal of sensual capability and build a palace of dreams and expectations. The world seems to rest at that affiliation’s doorstep. We permit these relationships to guide our day to day activities. But do bright sunsets last forever?
No! — a stage comes when the edifice of that love alliance begins to shake and finally crumbles. These heartbreaks are devastating and draining.
Still, life has to go on.
There have to be multiple ways and outlets to wean off the scars of the created rifts.
Here are TEN tips that can be helpful for getting over relationships.
Face the debacle
Yes, it’s a debacle and a situation that can doom someone. Don’t run away from it. Don’t try to overshadow your feelings by watching a movie or indulging in some other activity.
Mind you, that feeling will strike you back even harder. Behold it on your forehead while you try to find a way to let the calamity pass.
Every problem has a solution. Sure enough, there is a way out.
Dig out the negatives
Everyone has negatives, but so do we.
Up until now, you have basked only in the positives, looking for the best. You have buried the negatives by en-showering your love, and by turning a blind eye to them.
Now is the time to dig out the buried hatchet and start counting. Sit around and actually try to understand the relationship’s dark side. Evaluate how you have been exploited by deceit, crocodile tears, farce statements and false promises.
Understand how mentally, emotionally, physically and financially you have been sucked.
A natural distaste or aversion starts shaping up. Nurture that apathy every day, and let it cloud the pseudo brightness of the mundane alliance.
Switch off social media
Just release your cell phone and computer from the social media association that you have had with the person you were talking to. Chuck the name from the phone book and other links.
Less watching and less reading is a positive step towards withdrawal and personal relaxation.
After a social break with that person, there may be posts that may torment you. The individual may seek to convey his feelings in a distorted, abusive and bullying form. Don’t let it ruin your mind and heart’s tranquillity.
Learn to say goodbye.
Glorify the positives
Remember you are a good soul and genuinely mean no harm or detestation. You have never hurt another person, which is why this break is tormenting you.
Glorify, how nice and lovable you are. The whole world loves you and cares for you faithfully.
Exemplify your cultural status and intellect, for you are surely far superior.
Accept that you made a bad choice
We do make bad choices in life, but making a bad decision once, should teach you a lesson rather than burden you for all the years to come. This is like buying a poor quality shoe that starts pinching or hurtling in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is the right time to dump the shoe in the trash and buy another one, after a good trial.
Don’t let the misery stick with you throughout life. There is no point in sitting and shedding tears over cracked China that you quickly bought.
Start liking others
The world is, after all, a good place to live. There are nice people around.
You got stuck in one place and discarded your other pleasant relationships to turn a blind eye.
Start appreciating other people who have always cared for you, but you failed to reciprocate those feelings. You simply disregarded them because you cherished your pseudo dreams with the wrong person.
Nature is not ruthless or partial; it has much more to offer. You’ll find other blooms flourishing in the vicinity.
Indulge in catharsis
Where have your passions and hobbies disappeared?
Don’t you feel that the leisure time you earned after slogging through your profession, was sacrificed at the altar of this so-called relationship?
Believe in your passions and nurture your hobbies to relax and soothe the fires of repentance and revenge.
Listen to the best symphonies and indulge in nature’s communion with everyone around you.
No intoxication– please.
Always remember that indulging in intoxication like drinking, smoking or drug abuse will do more harm than bailing you out of your heartbreak and misery.
Don’t become another ‘Devdas’. Don’t burn your body trying to cool the heat of your loss.
Show that you are happy
When in a social gathering with the particular person around, always show your happiness and contentment. Don’t sadden your face and dump your eyes in black sockets to nurture that person’s sadistic pleasure. It’s time to show how happy and relieved you are without him.
Avoid any kind of conversation and, if need be, behave very formally. Never portray yourself as a sorry figure asking for alms… ‘Allah Kay Naam par meri Mohabbat Lauta de’.
Take charge and show that you are the Giver and not the Receiver. This will boost your morale tremendously and will allow you to fight out of the blue.
Shelf life
Everything in this world has a shelf life. There is an expiry date for whatever you eat, drink, breathe or the relationships you make.
Even the best and closest people around will leave you one day.
Someone rightly postulated that every seven years, every cell of our body changes. This means that if you divide your life into seven-year slots, you will realise how things have changed, including your persona and thinking.
So, if this is the rule of life, then why cry out for the spilt milk? Move on and let the other person also move for the better.
We are all in a battle and whether we come out as the winner or a loser, WE are affected.
There is just one life to live — Live it now.
No person or situation on this planet or celestial body has the audacity to change or affect our personalities and our thoughts.
Love yourself.
