UNHAPPINESS … Do we choose it, OR is it obsessive?



Unhappiness or sadness is one of the seven universal emotions experienced by us resulting from loss and failure. Personal and cultural notions play a significant role in making us unhappy. While sorrow is often considered a ‘negative emotion’, it serves a vital role in signalling a need for comfort, especially when it comes to the emotional state. It can be mild displeasure or extreme despair and anguish.

A typical ‘chemical locha’ in the wiring of the brain’s emotional centre may cause Unhappiness. Who wants to sulk or be miserable and grumpy and make peoples’ lives miserable?

The scientifically proven and accepted hormones for happiness and joy are Dopamine, Serotonin and Endorphins. The presence and abundance of these hormones can mean feeling good, reducing depression and physical pain. Vice versa, the depletion and scarcity of these juices will push the person into dungeons of sulk and depression.

Exercising, Meditation, Living the passions, Loving and Hugging etc., are just a few factors that upsurge these happy hormones, thus instilling happiness in the individual.

‘I am unhappy today because I had a tiff with my beloved over a problematic issue.’ – a pervasive notion. The fact is  — it’s you two versus the problem—NOT you versus your beloved.

Does sticking with the wrong person all the time give you happiness? NO, let go, you’ll be okay. Investing a lot of time and effort into someone you believe is the right person for you becomes harder and harder to let go of. It is very arduous to cut ties. You just keep staying unhappy and not being at ease. At times it is better to be alone than to be in a toxic company or association.

Single doesn’t mean loneliness, and a relationship doesn’t always mean happiness.

Happiness or Unhappiness exclusively hinges upon the excellence of the object or person to which we are attached by love. Both run parallel in life’s journey of carrying equal importance and seriousness. A burst of bright sunshine is cherished only after a gloomy period of clouds and rain. To have great happiness, you have to have pain and Unhappiness—otherwise, how would you know when you’re happy?

The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of Unhappiness.

BUDDHA says,’ All human Unhappiness comes from not facing reality squarely, exactly as it is.’

The key is to understand the functioning and perception of one’s own mind regarding an issue or situation. Individual variations are there where a similar situation can bring different mental results and outbursts from other people.

Two close friends take a competitive exam, both fail the exam. One is grossly unhappy that he has lost the battle, while the other is happy that he no longer has to fight the battle. The inference drawn is that the primary cause of your Unhappiness is not the situation but your thoughts about it.

You will be happy the day you can comprehend and decipher the source of your Unhappiness.

‘Don’t desire happiness because it creates only unhappiness and nothing else.’ OSHO


Overthinking and unnecessary brooding is the most significant reason for our Unhappiness. Keep yourself occupied and keep your mind off things that don’t help you. “Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe out.”

Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and sorrow. Don’t you think that we spend most of our lives trying to please the people around us? At the end of the day, we end up pleasing no one but displeasing a significant chunk of our own minds. Then we feel an emptiness and get depressed. Who is the eventual loser? Us!.

Just be with me and ditto the reasons that bring Unhappiness into our lives—

*Are we in the habit of complaining all the time? From minor to major and a few meagre things that surround us and demand our attention and participation.

*Do we try to avoid facing our problems and trying to find accessible alternatives to tackle them?

*Surely we do compare ourselves very often with people who don’t matter to us. “Uski Sari Meri Sari Si Safed Kaise?”

*Worry about this, ‘this ceiling fan might fall on my head someday—then what will happen?’ Why do we only foresee Unhappiness and not happiness?

*Get overwhelmed and worked up by the problems.

*Force ourselves to do things and follow vocations that don’t attract interest and pleasure.

*Stick to relationships that no longer serve and cater to our emotional needs in the way we want them to.

*Waste our energies in trying to change the people around us— by trying to suit them to our insights.

*Try to be Mr Happy and make everyone smile by pleasing their demands.

*Try to find happiness in the materialistic gains and commodities around us.


I worked hard and toiled to let go of my Unhappiness in these dreadful Corona times by sweating in my greenery, writing my heart and soul out, finding bliss in music and doing some meaningful reading.

‘Writing is not a profession but a vocation of Unhappiness.’ GEORGES SIMENON.

‘Music is a weapon in the war against unhappiness.’ JASON MRAZ.


The icing is this message that was forwarded to me by a friend—




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  1. Dr A.K Ojha says:

    People do come across fiasco while pursuing their goals.That doesn’t mean one should sulk in miserable situation for a pretty long time till it becomes difficult to rebound.The merit of the situation is to take strides on their side and channelise all energy to rise and fight with all might.. Happiness and sorrow are different sides of a coin.. Failures never last.A silver lining is there in dark clouds.. Nicely scripted Anuj Bhai..

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Ashok Bhai you write so well. Your comments are always encouraging and very much to the point. Thanks for putting in the valuable feedback. regards

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