HABITS — Good or bad; Who decides?

A good or a bad habit depends on how it aligns with certain values, perceptions, goals and consequences.

Good habits generally lead to a better quality of life. They impact personal health and hygiene, set career goals, and positively create relationships.

Bad habits are addictions, interference with goals, social disrespect, and inappropriate ethical standards. They create obstacles or adverse outcomes over time.

Habits should be judged based on personal choice, societal influence or expectations, cultural context, and scientific evidence.

As a social animal, man has established social constraints, principles, and norms, often dictating what actions are labelled Good or Bad. These societal norms play a significant role in shaping our habits.

No literature, treatise, or classification mentions habits, behaviours, or conduct. However, various religions have set specific parameters that affect people individually and force them to follow and accept them.

Most habits are ingrained in growing children as a legacy through parents, friends, and teachers. These forced suggestions and sermons later become rules, followed with reverence in the coming years and transferred likewise to the progeny.

Habits are confined only to the civilised part of the human world. Education and culture have glorified habits into etiquette. Habits are personal behaviour patterns, while etiquette is a set of social rules designed to guide respectful and harmonious interactions.

While growing up, we were cautioned for:

Not picking the nose,

Not slurping while chewing.

Not doing nail-biting.

Not talking out loud, etc.

Social norms, however, forbid us from doing and following certain things that might otherwise provide a deep sense of pleasure and satisfaction.

“Bad habits are like chains that are too light to feel until they are too heavy to carry.” WARREN BUFFET.

During college days, holding a fag and mocking fake puffs to impress girls was a fad. Such small and farce gestures turn into nasty lifetime addictions. Motivations get one started, but the Habits keep one going. The best time to correct a bad habit is immediately before it becomes established.

Bad Habits like drugs, smoking and alcoholism begin at a slow pace, and before you can gain control of possessions, the Habit has you. Then comes the state when life starts getting ruined and eventually tumbles down.

Someone suggested that to break a bad habit for good; you should love someone and something more significant than the bad habit.

My late Uncle was a chain smoker for more than forty years, consuming more than twenty fags a day. One day, I pleaded with him to quit smoking. My love superseded his urge, and Uncle promised to stop. He suffered the nicotine depletion terribly in the following days. But in the end, love prevailed, and he won the battle.

Breaking a bad habit is primarily a question of willpower. It’s the critical factor that distinguishes a bad habit from an addiction or mental disease. With the right amount of willpower, anyone can overcome destructive habits and lead healthier lives.

There is much research on habit formation. On average, an individual can acquire a new habit over sixty-six days. The process is marked by an asymptomatic increase in behaviour, with the initial acceleration slowing to a plateau after the period. Smoking and alcoholism may, however, take longer.

Bad habits are not always related to addictions or erroneous and unsocial actions. There are specific personality traits revealing destructive behaviour –

*Habit of postponing jobs and tasks – Being moody and erratic in doing jobs. Stalling becomes a lifelong tendency, and people love to live a laid-back life, which affects family and relationships.

*Leading a mediocre life—It’s not money that makes one lead a mediocre life; one’s attitude towards life makes it so. The zest for growth halts, and the person forces mediocrity upon everyone around him.

*Avoiding facing problems—Running away is a tendency. Such people develop phobias, the most common of which are facing exams, competitions and interviews.

*Thinking that the world revolves around you — Trying to hold the reins and pose as Prima Dona – “Who is the maker?” Showing off money or assets at social gatherings.

*Constantly complaining and blaming people for any mishaps –“I am Mister Perfect”–It’s the world and the people who must be blamed for everything.

*Trying to become something you are not and can’t be—Having the worst FOMO [Fear of missing out], putting your head in everything, and proving worthy of the action or activity.

*Brooding in the past and scheduling the future – ‘In our times, things were so good—the present generation is so uncouth – prices are sky-high. — I have planned all my money and assets for a healthy and luxurious future.’ – as if the present is worthless and meaningless.

*Thinking pessimistically about everything, instigating people to feel negative about themselves — ‘I am driving to Delhi tomorrow in my car.’ I told a friend. ‘Oh, OK, but please be careful; driving is unsafe with so many accidents.’ People with negativity don’t accomplish anything and spill their pessimism onto others. However, the best cure for one’s destructive tendencies is to see them in action in another person’s life.

“You don’t break a bad habit; you replace it with a good one.”

On the lighter side, some flaws or defects are helpful in specific ways —

*Constant fidgeting – some people can’t sit idle. They have to shake their bodies or, most commonly, their legs. This looks abnormal – but it burns calories.

*Chewing gum – Chewing gum is a bad habit, but it enhances vigilance, boosting alertness in certain sports personnel while on the field.

*Day Dreaming – Numerous studies prove that daydreaming helps solve common day-to-day problems.

*Swearing – Always revealing the truth or giving an oath reduces pain and stress.

My favourite quote –

“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow –who says quitting smoking is difficult? I do it every day.”

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