Emotional Maturity is a personal feeling or perception: no one can tell or comprehend the other person’s maturity or level of understanding. It is a mental status achieved without any age bar. A fifty-year-old man may behave most childishly, while a sixteen-year-old lad may exhibit a different level of Emotional Maturity.
Emotional Maturity liberates us from the need for external validation. It’s when we can express our true feelings without the need for reciprocation, appreciation, or apprehension. Our feelings become companions and not enemies. This sense of empowerment and independence, a significant aspect of emotional maturity, offers a profound sense of liberation. As LA Askew puts it — it’s a state of being where our emotions are no longer held hostage by others’ reactions.
Accomplishing emotional maturity glorifies a refined, profound beauty that exudes through life, inspiring those around. The person begins understanding himself and others deeply with sincere empathy, patience, and resilience. This deep understanding and empathy connect us to others and help us navigate conflicts with a grounded viewpoint.
Emotional Maturity is a state of liberation from pursuing perfection in oneself and others. This acceptance is redeeming and cathartic, relieving the burden of perfection and allowing one to find peace in imperfection.
In relationships, Maturity is revealed when,
*There is depth in presentation and communication.
*The person listens more and talks less about himself.
*The person is neither offensive nor defensive; accepts criticism with pride.
* No issues were raised about the commitment.
*Mistakes are accepted with poise and gratitude.
*Loneliness is accepted as solitude, not a curse.
We all experience mood swings and doldrums occasionally. Maturity is the ability to regulate these swings, keep anguish from swamping our ability to think and work and maintain constant motivation and persistence in the face of frustration.
Who doesn’t love the pleasures and joys of life? But aren’t long-term values more essential and imperative? Reflecting on the importance of long-term values can make us more contemplative about our choices and actions.
Emotions are essential to the human psyche and shouldn’t be confused with immaturity. However, staging an emotional drama over trivial and mundane matters should be considered with the utmost naïveté. Emotional maturity is about accepting genuine emotions and their role in our lives, not creating unnecessary drama. It’s a vital sign of awakening—the penultimate form of Maturity.
A patient complained harshly about his problems in my clinic, alleging that I was neglectful. I was confident about my management and understood his overreaction. My emotional maturity demanded kindness and sympathy. I treated the patient calmly, without a redundant explanation, and made him realise his mistake. I diffused the situation smartly without threatening my peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals, and self-worth. This is just one example of how emotional maturity can be applied in real-life situations.
“Maturity is when you live by your commitments, not feelings.” RICK WARREN.
We often meet people in social gatherings who fight and argue over matters, thinking their intellect best acknowledges them. These baseless opinions mostly lead to the breaking and withering of alliances. Immature people always seek to win an argument, even at the cost of relationships, while mature people prefer to lose an argument rather than a meaningful rapport.
It is not always in our control to heal a situation and its outcome, but we can maintain our attitude and ways of dealing with it—’Thank you for misunderstanding, rejecting, and not seeing me. However, you taught me to see and understand myself much better.’
Someone correctly mentioned – ‘We don’t mature through age; we mature in awareness.’ Emotional maturity is not just a concept but a journey and a state of mind that we embark on through bitter experiences and daily involvements. It’s a journey of personal growth and self-discovery that can inspire and motivate us.
The key to emotional maturity is learning to set and respect boundaries. We shouldn’t feel guilty for saying no to situations that cross these boundaries. This empowerment and control over our lives is crucial to emotional maturity.
Maturity is understanding limitations and behaviours to achieve sanity —
* Try not to be vulnerable to hurt or disappointment.
* Perfect the art of sitting undistracted in silence.
* Take full accountability for your behaviour without blaming anyone.
* Try to find humour and light-headedness even in small things rather than waiting for something big.
Can a person comprehend another’s mind in a love relationship? This is not always true. A mature lover reveals and elucidates his feelings honestly rather than acting on the other’s emotional state and sentiments. “If my absence doesn’t affect your life, my presence is meaningless.”
Life displays its colours and bestows unannounced problems and various unprovoked issues. The mental and emotional levels may not function in unison the entire time.
Aakash, a happy-go-lucky person, had problems with his gall bladder. Suspicious of malignancy, he underwent a series of investigations. He was apprehensive over the reports of the tests and biopsies.
The day malignancy was confirmed, Aakash took an altogether different stance. Instead of crying and sulking, he accepted spirituality, looking at the problem positively. He started living each day as it came without worrying about an uncertain future. By accepting life’s harsh truths and destiny, he developed tremendous mental security and matured emotionally and spiritually.
Maturity is the strength to make the dreams of perfection disappear from our minds and hearts. It is the ability to stick to thought and struggle until finished—to endure unpleasantness, discomfort, and frustration.
Before hitting the bed, a truce must be achieved between the heart and mind for a peaceful sleep—a mature mind pardons the heart.
According to Dr Joseph Murphy {The Power of Your Subconscious Mind},
“Emotional Maturity is when what the other person says or does will not annoy or irritate you except when you permit him to disturb you. The only way he can bother you is through your thoughts. Identify yourself with your aim in life, and do not permit any person, place, or thing to deflect you from your inner sense of peace, tranquillity, and radiant health.”
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