AGEING GRACEFULLY … Living with a purpose. ‘Be a giver: not a receiver.’

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” SARCHEL PAIGE

My father retired from a class one Government job at fifty-eight. It would be hard to believe that a dynamic, robust man, permeating with life and vigour would now sit at home and do nothing.

Why should someone retire when he can still contribute a chunk to society?

I think it is to make way for the youngsters on the line, who are more energetic and youthful. ( There is a big queue)

So we would infer that a man at fifty-eight is good for nothing, but a showpiece who will just eat and shit in the corner for the rest of his life; an unproductive bag of flesh and calcium.

He will be consuming the natural resources and will still not contribute to producing even a single bag of potatoes.

“Is he a burden to society, family and the land he moves on? Why is he living?”…  This question will raise eyebrows and kick me in the back.

In an average case of sixty, a man would have raised the family well and settled his children, accrued a decent bank balance and taken care of emergencies and good living.

Mr Gupta retired as a College Professor. He was happy to finally be home and do the things that he had missed out on while at work. That included giving time to his wife, who was always complaining about being left out.

The initial months went well, and Gupta jee raved about the wonderful time he spent following his passions.

But destiny had a different scenario to unravel. The wife became bored and agitated over the over-indulgence of Gupta jee in domestic and kitchen matters. The children had been asphyxiated by the constant sermons coming from Gupta jee’s mouth. Money issues were raised because the son had skimpy resources, enough to take care of his own family of two small children.

“First your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life”. CHUCK PALAHNUIK

 Ageing gracefully has a subtle meaning.

A man who has led a respectful life, been a giver to society and family, deserves the same respect and attention when he gets old and becomes dependent emotionally, physically and financially.

The equation cannot and should not be altered to suit the whims of the provider.

For Self-Respect and Dignity, it is essential that proper planning and investment be made during the infancy of -‘ Grahasth Jeewan’. This is not only an investment in terms of money but also in Emotional priorities.

DEPENDENCE is a negative word that comes up at a later stage.

Physical dependence is destiny. We don’t know what ailment or misery may knock a person out and make him dependent on family for support.

However, Financial and Emotional dependence is completely in one’s hands.  To deal with this, one has to plan with a practical attitude and logic; this is crucial.

Mr Sharma spent his earnings and savings settling on his children. The family did well, but upon reaching old age, he became dependent on his wealthy children. That charisma was lost, and Mr Sharma became a burden to the family.

The Endeavour should be the Giver; not the Receiver.

Life is a cruel stage. The priorities of the performers change with every scene. Once beloved and adored, it has become a place of disinterest and apathy. Wise are those who take out the woollen before the winter.

Emotional withdrawal has to be gradual. Every relationship has a shelf life, and that bold fact has to be adequately understood. Be it children, spouses or closest friends: everyone tends to wither. In the end, you are merely a mountain goat stuck on a cliff.

“Listen to your elder’s advice, not because they are always right but because they have more experience being wrong.”

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

Don’t let your self-esteem be crushed by people who at one time were dependent on you for everything. A tinge of attitude, arrogance and ego is acceptable.

You can’t expect to be old and wise when you are not young and crazy. Keep living your passions, not just aggressively but emotionally.

Design a wardrobe of your likes and dislikes. No one should be allowed to trespass on your domain or privacy. Now is the time to flaunt what you have earned.

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” ELEANOR ROOSEVELT.

I Wish I could have a Tattoo … “I am a happy man”, to stay till my last breath, and keep reminding myself that I have the vigour and disposition to be happy on my own, on individual terms.

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