APPRECIATION, CRITICISM and SILENCE …Three sons of ‘Mr Gesture’ and ‘Ms Etiquettes.’

Mr Gesture and Ms Etiquette produced three sons –

The eldest one was Appreciation: he did very well in life and scaled the pinnacle in every way.

The middle one was Criticism: he did the worst and led a miserable life of penury.

The youngest was Silence: he did nothing and just passed the time sitting idle, but surviving satisfactorily.

Appreciating someone is a virtue, some people lack it.

Criticizing is an inferiority complex, with most of the unfortunate and sick suffering from it.

To remain Silent shows ignorance, as most do.

Appreciation.

We are so often caught up in our destinations that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the amazing and adorable people we meet along the way. Appreciation is a beautiful feeling; don’t overlook it.

A genuine appreciation goes a long way. There should be no diplomacy and falsehoods.

People who are liberal about these traits go a long way socially, personally and career-wise.

If you don’t show appreciation to those that deserve it, they will learn to stop doing the things you appreciate. This holds well in building relationships between spouses, children and friends.

I have seen an American couple who would praise their three- year girl if she just picked trash from the floor, “That’s lovely Sofia, we appreciate that. Thank you! for being helpful”.

Some have rightly said, “A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and, Second, respecting the differences.”

During a live concert, the performer kept begging for Applause.  More were the claps and hoots; the better was the performance. I guess it has something to do with the release of the positive hormones that give a high.

Don’t we fish out for ‘Likes’ on Facebook and WhatsApp posts? Whether they are genuine or fake, who cares?

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” VOLTAIRE

There is a common breed that appreciates the face but spills filth on the back. This class is dangerous and treacherous to society and relationships.

A friend of mine had an obnoxious habit. Like, “waah bhabhijee, kya khoob swaad khana banaya hai…”

And the moment he stepped out of the house… “Kitna Kharab Khana Tha, Mujhse to Khaya Bhi Nahee Gaya”.

I snubbed him for this diplomacy. He asked,” What if my positive comments please someone; so, what if they are fake?”

Criticism

Criticism is the disapproval of people for not having faults, but for having flaws different from your own.

They say, “Be generous with Appreciation, and cautious with criticism.”

Well, people that criticize other people are just unhappy about something in their lives, and they take the most Pathetic measures to make themselves feel better.

Be a Positive Critic: Banish the Criticism.

Someone wrote, “I thought I was a good poet until I found a Critic.”

A comment or suggestion, if given with a positive attitude, goes a long way to the betterment of the person concerned. Criticism nurtures nothing but hate and unpleasantness.

The exciting part is that the ‘style’ and ‘timing’ of Applause can be picked up in an altogether different way.

Clapping after a good music or poetry recital will show Admiration and Appreciation.

Clapping during the performance symbolizes – Unhappiness and Boredom.

The first Hindi poem I wrote as a seven -years- old boy received an initial Appreciation from my mother but was soon followed by Suggestions and Corrections done in a very subtle way. (my mother was a senior Hindi professor).

This went a long way in building my personality as an amateur poet – the appreciation encouraged me, and the positive criticism nurtured my persona and writing.

Silence.

Mr X frequently attends Music gatherings, Kavi sammelans and other Cultural activities. But he adjusts his one-ton butt on the sofa like a lump of blubber. His face is expressionless, and his presence is meaningless. It is hard to tell from his (mask-like) Parkinsonian blank face whether he liked or detested the performance.

“Silence is a true friend who never betrays” Anonymous. “Silence is eloquent”.

How many times have you felt that your Husband simply consumes food, silently without a flicker of Appreciation or Criticism?

“Pata Nahi Khana AchchaTha ya Nahi?” Don’t you feel like shaking him- “At least tell me whether or not you liked it?”

Non-committal silence can be irritating. I hate to see the long-drawn faces that ooze vacuums and an emotional void after I have performed a vocal music sequence.

But such people will go unscathed from the scales of society and lead a normal and hollow life.

Some say that the Silence shows the inner strength and emotional depth of a person. Well, I do agree, but Silence is not always right. You need to display your point of view.

You can’t be silent while going through your child’s exam report card.

You can’t be silent when your wife cooks you an exotic meal.

You can’t be silent when your beloved dresses for you…….  Etcetera.

The best combo is when the three brothers live together and come alive at a specific time and occasion.

Anyone who knows when to Appreciate, when to Criticize, and when to Maintain Silence is socially acceptable and adorable.