Everyone has a point of view….There is no age for marriage… It is your life after all …..single doesn’t mean sad.
“Gupta jee how old is your son?” Sharma jee asked my father.
“He is twenty-four”.
“Are you not thinking of his marriage?” Sharma jee asked with a legitimate concern.
My father smiled; he did not answer because he knew the logic and preferences of his worthy son; not to marry on somebody’s whims and suggestions.
Thank God, my parents were liberal and made me independent to breathe and live my life, the way I wanted to. I had no peer pressure and was married on my terms and perceptions.
The genes of liberty have travelled, and after almost forty years of parenting, I have expediently allowed my twenty-seven-year-old son to make his own decisions.
The interesting thing is that I am now facing the same pressures as my parents envisaged. Every other day, I get some free suggestions from my friends and relatives to get my son married ASAP.
We are dealing with a different breed altogether. In our times, at least, we don’t retort back on silly matrimonial suggestions. Today, I am scared to venture into the domains of matrimonial suggestions for my grown-up children.
YOUR MIND IS NOT A PRESSURE COOKER, after all.
The peer pressure to get married is pathetic. The burden takes preposterous proportions when it comes from people who are not going to feed your spouse. They are a bunch of stupid matchmakers who can’t be serious about you. Why should they be? They have nothing to do with your life, finances or emotional values. Still, they manage to seep in through the small crevices of the closed doors and try to smog the serene atmosphere.
Who decides the right age for marriage?
Is there a UNO international treaty or congressional protocol on the “right age” for marriage?
Marriage is an institution and a lifelong commitment. The MIND has to decide, and the HEART has to help out.
The Heart is active right from puberty and tries to venture into every aspect of life to become infatuated and besotted. Naïve infatuations happen at tender ages, and some succumb to early and premature marital pressure, only to be condemned and trashed in due course.
In those pink years, the Mind is occupied with educational pressure and career pursuits. Logic and lucidity take their course to mature and suit an individual.
This generation has changed for the better, at least on the marital front. The modern youth has logically and conveniently kicked away the concept of …’Umar nikal jayegi’.
Life is more about career goals and achievements than getting tied up in a mundane marriage and repenting later.
The Biological and Social guidelines for a Girl to marry at 21 and a Boy at 24 have nosedived.
Modern thinking is to marry when the pocket and mind mature.
It is the duty of parents not to burden and pollute the young and intellectual minds that are busy exploring their career horizons and trying to build a professional rendezvous.
Biological needs should not be confused with social needs.
In modern times our biological needs have shrunk to basic wants, like feeding the belly as and when required. The taboos and hitches have gone past and are no longer a reason for stress.
The real stress and strain are having to make a decent living and respectable earnings before taking on the burden of another life. Today, both partners must earn a decent living in a metropolitan city. There is a need for a parallel career and portfolio. Even with the best of educational scenarios and decent job incorporation, the marital age stretches to 27 or more years of age.
In any case, the early marriage concept nose dives.
Needless to say that my parents were married in their teens and were still raising a beautiful family of three.
Well, times have changed…
Marriage is still a very beautiful institution. There is joy in understanding the spouse and together carrying on with life. But now seriously something is lacking, spouse is now seen more like a burden and subjected to too much judgement may be.Compromise has become a big NO.
Boys are wary of divorces. Girls are quick to ask for it. They are usually the beneficiaries.
May be these are the reasons that marriages are taking back seat among the upper educated class.
dear harsh
you are right, the school of marriage is now dwindling. Life has become fast track and in this rut, there is no place for mundane compromises and commitments.
thanks for your views.
regards
Dear Anuj ,
it has become easier to live alone than with someone along and constantly making adjustments. Trust and love doesn’t seem to last long.