WE EARNED ‘INDEPENDENCE’ — WE FORGOT ‘BELONGING’.

Our societies strongly value autonomy, self-reliance, and individual rights. However, as we break free from traditional constraints, we often feel isolated and yearn for the meaningful, grounding connection that Belonging offers.

We often confuse strength with acting entirely alone, forgetting that independence that results in isolation can make life feel more burdensome than necessary. Belonging is an essential human need, not a privilege. Being part of a community allows us to manage our emotions more effectively than in complete isolation. True belonging involves recognising that we can rely on others without sacrificing our dignity.

I may be a loner, but when I feel overjoyed about my achievements or praise, I need to share my happiness with those who matter to me. Similarly, when I am sad and depressed, I need a shoulder to cry on or friends who can help share my burden and make me feel better.

“I value my independence, yet I seek emotional connection.” Independence gives Dignity, but Belonging gives Warmth”

In the rat race and pursuit of self-sufficiency, people have lost sight of the fundamental need for tenderness, friendship, and shared meaning through dependable, meaningful relationships. Independence has, however, liberated humans, but they often feel invisible and unrecognised without a sense of belonging.

How can we forget the days when the entire community or village felt like one big family? No one would accept water from another village where their girl was married. Even small misfortunes or gains were shared both emotionally and wisely. A person’s identity stemmed not just from who they were, but also from which village or town they belonged to.

Growing up in a small township, we kids knew everyone in our neighbourhood and took part in every humble celebration. Evenings were dedicated to socialising, with everyone out for walks or shopping at the local mall. This fostered a strong sense of community and belonging. My acceptance into medical school and my brother’s trip to the USA for higher studies were celebrated equally throughout the entire township.

Over time, we grew accomplished and self-reliant, developing self-worth and independence. However, we lost the warmth and sense of belonging that we once felt in those small settlements. Everyone now appears as an outsider, with faces warped and memories broken.

We dedicate our time to safeguarding our freedom, privacy, and ambitions, but ultimately, what is the point? We come back with heavy hearts to empty rooms where our independence seems to mock us. Are we losing the art and joy of leaning on each other to share our happiness and sadness?

Modernity and independence have led us to believe we don’t need anyone. We are emotionally self-reliant, financially independent, adaptable to individual differences, and quick to let go. Despite the constant chatter, meaningful connections are rare. Even with extensive networks, our close circles remain small.

The sanctity and significance of belonging were –

* To be listened to without experiencing competition or jealousy.

* Embrace our imperfections without fear of being replaced.

* To practice silence without becoming irrelevant.

Moving from a sense of belonging to Independence represents a fundamental change in modern society. Is this shift positive or negative? Who has the authority to decide?

“Independence can help a person survive – Belonging often helps a person remain alive inside”

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