DO I OWN RELATIONSHIPS? CAN I OWN ONE? ….
I love being in the Shivalik foothills with the stream of gushing virgin water, rolling over the white pebbles and caressing the sand. I can own the water clutter as it is my perception of beauty.
Can I own the water and the Mountains? … NO, I cannot.
“Raju, why did you play with Sunil. Don’t you know that I am not talking to him?”
I had a tiff with Sunil, so my best friend Raju should follow the vendetta and not talk to Sunil either.
This Kindergarten, innocent story continues.
WHY DO WE TRY TO OWN RELATIONSHIPS?
Why are we expected to follow our best friend’s whims, likes and dislikes?
“This is my kitty group”. As if all the members are owned by me.
Why do spouses keep checking their whereabouts by calling repeatedly on their cell phones?
“Oh, I love you so much … I want to know where you are … I miss you.”
To me, this is SICK.
This is not loving, and neither is possessiveness. However, there is love in possessiveness.
Here we are talking of INSECURITY. It has a connection to childhood torment or personal complexes.
Why should the parents bother to check on their daughter’s daily routine after she is happily married?
Why should a Boyfriend get upset because his girl applauded the Macho physique of Sylvester Stallone? She certainly never meant to fantasize about sleeping with the cult.
Why should parents stand on the road, waiting to board their fifteen-year-old child to the school bus and escort them to wherever they want to go?
Why would a Hypochondriac father have a sleepless night because his daughter did not pick up the phone in the first ring?
Why would a Girlfriend check on the list of ‘female likes’ for her Boyfriend’s FaceBook post, and vice versa?
Why do we try to strangulate the person we love, in the name of being careful and possessive?
Constant soil mending is needed to air the plant roots for their good growth. An unattended plant will die soon or grow poorly.
Every relationship has a boundary wall and a gate. We should learn to wait at the gate and knock properly before trespassing more frequently.
NO ONE CAN BE DEARER TO YOU, THAN YOURSELF.
Don’t let anyone exploit the platform you have provided to those relationships.
Don’t let anyone trespass into your personal premises and create a mock symphony of your emotions and thoughts.
Every relationship expects certain norms and protocols.
No one has a right to screw up your day by giving an unwanted suggestion.
Always embrace people with a sideways hug. Who knows what happens when they squeeze out your life with emotional strangulation?
So be careful before you give someone your palm for a handshake.
