Forgiveness involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you – working on forgiveness can lessen that act’s grip on you.
Dealing and healing are two interconnected steps in the emotional process of forgiveness.
Dealing with someone else’s derogatory actions requires fronting and working on it. It’s about understanding and accepting what happened, recognising the impact, and coming to terms with annoyance, disloyalty, or melancholy. Dealing is a courageous step as it requires confronting painful emotions and memories.
The Healing process takes over after the hurt has been dealt with. It involves letting go of anger, antipathy, or desire for retribution, gradually liberating the weight and hurt. Healing is choosing to move ahead without letting the past control one’s emotions and future.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”-LEWIS B. SMEDES.
Forgiveness is a liberating act that brings relief like a breath of fresh air, freeing you from resentment and anger. It’s a powerful tool that empowers you to take control of your emotions and free yourself from the burden of grudges.
People who entertain negative thoughts and concepts about people experience an automatic chain reaction of negativity in their subconscious mind called Self-Chastisement. This is a self-punishing mental state where one constantly berates oneself for past mistakes or perceived shortcomings. They must release their negative power, or they will simmer in darkness and can’t move forward.
You don’t need to like or contemplate association to forgive someone. Forgiveness is not your emotional megalomania; you are selfishly contemplating your mental peace. You don’t excuse them: you prevent their behaviour from destroying and annihilating your psyche and emotions. This is very important for the normal functioning of the mind and heart.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to strength and emotional vigour. It takes courage to forgive, to let go of the past and move forward. Children are the strongest forgivers as they play without carrying the burden of deceit or trickery. They have fights and upsets, but the poison of negativity is short-lived and superfluous. However, in their momentary fights, the parents develop animosities, holding a vendetta against each other, while the children forgive and forget the next moment. This courage is what makes forgiveness a powerful act of resilience.
Forgiveness is the highest and most gorgeous form of love bestowed upon human beings. True love doesn’t promise anything in return but bequeaths untold peace and happiness. “Forgiveness lets you love again, and once you forgive, your heart is full of love no matter the magnitude of the person’s shortcomings or transgressions.” Forgiveness is how I let go of myself and remember myself.
Forgiveness is also the best Revenge —
During my house job at the medical college, an intern sadistically fixated on irritating and insulting me and drew pleasure out of my mental discomfort and uneasiness. Understanding his modus operandi, I didn’t react. I forgave him without speaking or giving him instructions and started doing all the meagre hospital jobs myself. This act of forgiveness, without any explicit communication, was a powerful demonstration of the healing power of forgiveness.
My tactic worked, and a week later, the intern touched my feet and apologised for his misconduct and disrespect.
I had my revenge by forgiving his actions.
Our minds are like closets, filled with junk and trash. There is so much that we don’t need. Taking stock of the emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual garbage we collect over time is essential. Most filth is the burden of our reactions and attitudes towards people’s misconduct and situations.
By forgiving and letting go, we create a spacious and inviting environment for us to breathe and let something nice and feasible happen. Forgiveness catalyses the atmosphere for a fresh start and a new commencement, offering a sense of freedom and openness to new possibilities.
“Always forgive your enemies–nothing annoys them so much; the stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”
Forgiveness starts from within. You are not the reason for being hurt; it is not your fault, either. Before developing the capacity to forgive others, building the ability to forgive yourself is crucial. Self-forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but an authoritative act of self-compassion and understanding. It’s about being kind to yourself and understanding that everyone makes mistakes.
The key to forgiveness is to ponder a person’s perspective and analyse the situation as he takes it. Even better is to sympathise with the person’s emotions and circumstances. Forgiveness fosters personal growth in both the forgiver and the forgiven.
Forgiveness and the Ego—
The scrimmage between Ego and Forgiveness is one of life’s classic inner battles. The ego is like a defensive fortress erected to defend pride and identity. It wants to hold onto hurts, justifying pain as a reaction. The ego prospers on separation, keeping one locked in ‘me vs. them.’ Forgiveness is redeeming and courageous. It acknowledges the hurt but chooses not to be ruled by it. It smashes the walls created by the ego. In other words, the ego often resists forgiveness because it feels like a threat to its sense of self.
When we choose forgiveness over ego, we prioritise peace and personal growth, breaking cycles of anger and blame. The ego will not let you forgive because doing so would undermine and jeopardise its existence.
“You forgive because you love, and you love because you forgive.”
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