FORGIVENESS – Dealing and Healing


Forgiving is to stop being angry at somebody for something that has been done wrong.

People who entertain negative thoughts and concepts about the people around them experience an automatic chain reaction of negativity in their subconscious mind. This is called self-chastisement. They need the release of their negative power. Otherwise, they simmer in darkness and can’t move forward.

To forgive someone, you don’t need to like him or contemplate being associated with him in any form. The act of forgiving is not your emotional megalomania; rather, you are selfish because you are doing this for your mental peace.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” LEWIS B. SMEDES.

Some say that a weak person could never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. In this case, we should infer that a child is the strongest of all. The child forgives everyone he plays with and never carries the burden of deceit or trickery. There are regular fights and upsets, but the poison of negativity is short-lived and superfluous. The irony is that the children’s temporary fight causes their parents to develop animosities with each other. Later on, the parents carry out a vendetta while the children forgive and forget the very next moment.

Forgiving is the highest, most beautiful form of love. True love doesn’t promise anything in return; it just bequeaths untold peace and happiness. Love is the most forgiving emotion that has been bestowed upon human beings.

You don’t excuse their untoward behaviour: you prevent their behaviour from destroying and annihilating your own psyche and emotions. This is very important for the normal functioning of the mind and heart.


I was doing a House job in the Medical College. My new intern was a boisterous and unsocial boy. His behaviour was very impulsive and focused on irritating me over some issues. He wanted me to react to all his unruly actions, and like a sadist, he was trying to draw pleasure out of my mental discomfort. I just created a heart of steel. I did not react at all and kept forgiving him without speaking a word to him. I stopped giving him instructions and did all the odd patient jobs myself.

A week passed, and one fine evening the intern was waiting outside my room in the boy’s hostel. He wept and virtually touched my feet and was apologetic for his misconduct and disrespect.

I took my revenge by forgiving his actions.


Our minds are like closets, filled with junk and trash. There is so much that we don’t actually need. It is essential to take stock of the emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual garbage that continues to collect over time. If we sit and ponder, then most of the filth is the burden of our reactions and attitudes towards people’s misconduct and the situations around us.

By forgiving and letting go, we create space and a pleasing milieu for us to breathe. Space is often required for something nice and feasible to happen. Forgiveness is a catalyst in fashioning the atmosphere necessary for a fresh start and a new commencement.

“Always forgive your enemies–nothing annoys them so much; the stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

I FORGIVE YOU; these are the three most challenging words you can ever give to someone else. No wonder forgiveness is hard-hitting, but it’s the supreme flair that you are enthusiastic about providing.

Why do we carry the burden of pain over our shoulders? The problem arises when we want to unburden ourselves but have nowhere to offload it, so we keep carrying it.

How much of this thought devastates us – ‘Why should I forgive him?’ There is great fear of being hurt repeatedly, and there is eventually a loss of control. However, giving away forgiveness will not make you feel weak or vulnerable.

Forgiveness starts from within. You are not the reason for being hurt, and it is indeed not your fault either. Before developing the capacity to forgive others, it is of utmost importance to build the ability to forgive yourself.

The key to forgiveness is to ponder a person’s perspective and analyse the situation as he takes it. Even better is to commiserate with the person’s emotions and circumstances.

Forgiveness vests personal growth in both the forgiver and the forgiven. You achieve peace and freedom by living as an improved version of yourself.


“Forgiveness lets you love again, and once you forgive; your heart is full of love no matter the magnitude of the person’s shortcomings or transgressions.”

There is a massive tussle between Forgiveness and Ego. Ego will not let you forgive because that would undermine and jeopardize its own existence. To forgive insults — real and imagined — is to weaken the boundary between self and others.

“Forgiveness is the way I let go of myself and remember myself.”





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