COMFORTABLY NUMB…. A divine state

 “….. when I was a child I had fever…. My hands felt just like two balloons … Now I have got that feeling once again  … I can’t explain you would not understand … This is not how I am  …  I have become Comfortably Numb…”

              .. Excerpts from the famous number by PINK FLOYD.

 We talk of a state where the soul and the psyche venture into a world of anonymity, nothing materialistic is palpable, and the senses stop responding to the world around; a state of Divinity; Numbness… Comfortably Numb.

But whether this is by CHOICE or by COMPULSION depends on the outcome.

Some people can choose to remain emotionally removed from a person or situation. Other times, emotional detachment is the result of trauma, abuse or a previous encounter. In such cases, previous events may make it challenging to be open and honest with a friend or loved one.

A person may be unable to feel anything in a particular part of the body, especially as a result of colds or anaesthesia or some neurological disorder or mishap. “It was so cold my fingers went numb”.

A person may be unable to think, feel, or normally react because of something that shocks or upsets him. “Indifferent He stood there Numb with fear”.

“Doctor I sustained a glass cut injury in my hand, and since then, my fingers have been Numb.” A common complaint that as a Hand Surgeon, I envisage every other day. The Nerves form an intricate latticework in our bodies and function to carry sensations from the periphery to the brain.

An insult or injury can knock out the senses, making the part Numb, like an electrical fault in the wires and a particular room not getting power.

The subjective numbness can be corrected by simple procedures or manoeuvres which bring back life to normal.

Viraat is a cool, sensitive and emotional person. His girlfriend, Sasha, has a practical attitude to life and career. They have been in a relationship for more than five years. Day to day mundane arguments and tiffs are a common feature, and they both tackle them with ease. Viraat is generally at the receiving end and tolerates the mood swings of Sasha more, especially during her PMS days.

One day Viraat became NUMB and could not respond to the demands and absurdities of Sasha. He could neither feel happiness nor sadness. He was not depressed either, but there was a lack of commitment and assurance.

Viraat was virtually pushed into a state of insensitivity as he needed time to get out. No assurance or warmth worked, and Sasha grew helpless and desperate. Her apology added fuel to the fire.

“You always want to go from where you are in a particular situation. It, however, depends if you wish to come back or not. But the place you return to may be different from the place you left.”…….  HARUKI MURAKAMI.

Numbness can lead to a permanent scar depending on the nastiness of the emotional assault.

 Human thoughts and sentiments can have both the phases of happiness and remorse, going hand in hand. It also responds well in taking care of the atrocities.

However, in an over milked relationship, the water chokes the breath, and there is a craving for space. In such a situation, the mind behaves differently. It stops functioning and freezes to respond to either happiness or pathos; IT BECOMES NUMB.

 What is Emotional Numbness?

Feeling Emotionally Numb, or a general lack of emotion can be the symptom of a medical condition or a side effect of some medication.

It may be described as a feeling of emptiness or hopelessness. Others may report feeling completely ostracised and isolated. There is a feeling of a screwed up future, and a bleak hope for the numbness to ever fade.

“I feel invisible like I am a ghost. I watch my family engaging with each other, but I feel like there is an invisible barrier that keeps me from joining them”…..  Amy H, “I am like a submarine drifting undetected, picking on other people’s emotions like sonar. However, I am too unsure of my feelings.”

The numbness can be unbearable for many people who experience it. A sense of isolation from the world can be devastating.

“I am a popular loner. I know a lot of people and a lot of people know me, but my circle is small, and I am usually by myself.”

I am turning NUMB….{ Too}

*I have Evolved and Mellowed in my outlook and perceptions.

*No relationship, whatsoever, affects me as I have shielded myself from the pain or insult that knowingly or unintentionally may inflict upon me.

*I have curbed my expectations, and restrained my needs to a bare minimum; hence have released and immuned myself from the pain of jealousy and desire for a better life.

*I don’t fear death anymore. I feel that I have lived my life full circle and earned all of my zeniths and goals. The coming years are a bonus.

*I survive on the passions that I have nurtured in all these years, and I know that they will take me through the years and the years ahead.

*I know that change is the rule of life, and I am not going to live in this house or this body forever.

*I know that everything and everyone around me is perishable and serves a purpose and destiny. I cannot change the course of events or make them suit my whims.

*I live in my soul. I am just surviving in this body that is nothing more than sixty per cent water.

*I am standing on the edge of a cliff. All I can see are the stars and the blue sky. I don’t want to look down at the million faces that gaze at me with awe, admiration and jealousy. My journey is in a vast void, and I have to travel alone.

AM I TURNING DIVINE and preaching a sermon?

NO!!

I am, COMFORTABLY NUMB…

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