COMPASSION ……. Does it travel in Genes?

Compassion is an understanding or pity for someone who is suffering. It is a Moral VIRTUE. There is an intense and uncontrollable desire to help.

“The LORD is gracious and righteous; our GOD is full of Compassion. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight.” ….. BIBLE.

To be compassionate is to feel deeply for another person as they experience highs and lows in their lives. To be compassionate is not just telling someone that you care, but giving assurance of their presence even before they ask for it.

In the hoards of people, if you have ONE compassionate friend who understands your needs well enough; you have just won the battle of life.

Instead, we are surrounded by a group of so-called friends who actually vamoose, the moment they smell of an impending need.

We often confuse ‘Caring’ with ‘Compassion’.

Compassion involves the sharing of feelings.

Caring is a simple act of showing of Kindness and concern.

I hate the commonly used phrase… “take care”… Why will I not take care of myself?… I will, for sure; thanks for reminding me to do so.

 Do we pass on Compassion to our progeny? Is there a genetic overplay?

KINDNESS is in our genes. According to studies, Kindness does have a GENETIC component. Some aspect of Altruism and empathy is in our genes- our DNA. Genetic variants associated with lower Empathy and Compassion are also associated with a higher risk of Autism.

A single genetic change in the ‘love hormone’ receptor makes a person seem more Compassionate and kind to others.

As a kid, I grew up in the shadow of my Father, who was an example of Compassion and Empathy. He was like a messiah to the underprivileged and the weak. I have seen him go out of his way to help people, both Physically and Financially.

Vinod was our domestic help and used to do cooking and cleaning. He was a brilliant young boy with a desire to join the Army. My father made him study during his free time and pushed him to clear the prelims. He took care of Vinod’s financial needs despite his own constraints.

Vinod joined the Army and visited us one day. My father made Vinod sit at the dining table and share his meals with him. The irony was that my mother, who used to make monkeys out of Vinod in the kitchen, was cooking hot pooris and serving him. {I cannot forget the deceitful expression she had on her face}.

This is just one of several instances that I experienced with my Late Father.

Just the other day, my daughter sent pictures of herself celebrating the birthday of her Domestic Assistance Kid at a decent restaurant in Mumbai. This gesture and concern touched me as I visualised my father being with her. I had to wipe away her tears when I sold my old car in which she used to go to school. She kissed the vehicle several times before the buyer picked it up. There is very personal and distinct chemistry that she shares with the workers here. They cherish her annual visits.

I am not conceited in admitting that I inherited empathetic traits from my father. I was a shade better than he was, and a few steps behind my daughter. My earliest childhood friends were my drivers, gardeners, office peons and besties who helped me out domestically. This legacy continued while I was in the hostel and helped out the mess personnel in every possible way.

Love may be confused with Compassion.

Love is a deep feeling of affection and attachment towards others.

Compassion is the sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

Love and Compassion are two positive feelings that help to make the world a better place.

The big question is, can Compassion be cultivated in an individual who has altogether different traits?

Well, it’s like Music.

Music is a God-given gift, and the vocal cords are blessed to produce the most musical syllables and notes. Still, the music can be learned, practised and performed through constant devotion and training.

Similarly, Compassion can be inculcated through simple suggestions.

*It is all about feelings for others. Try to get under the skin and feel the irritant receptor that is initiating the pain stimulus. You will feed a hungry man only if you feel the misery of hunger pangs in your tummy … You will hold the hand of the blind only when you impersonate the curse of darkness in your life.

*Be kind and generous. Provide a comfortable zone and pedestal so that people can reach you easily. Lend your ears and eyes to the misery around you. “compassion is to look beyond your own pain, to see the pain of others.” Yasmin Mogahed.

*Stop being so Judgemental. Everyone is on a journey and is bestowed with intellect and perception like you. Whatever happens or proceeds is destiny and mishap. You are not a Judge after all. You are not supposed to pass a unilateral judgement and reserve your opinion based on that mundane understanding.

*Listen open-heartedly. Oozing out assurances that the story is complete. Listen with an open mind and encourage that person to feel at home with you.

*Heal yourself inside first. A disturbed and malicious mind will never go out of its way to do charity.

 “Let our hearts be stretched out in compassion towards others, for everyone is walking his or her own difficult path.”  DIETER F. UCHTDORF