CHASTITY – How Truthful, Feasible and Pious?

Chastity is spiritual purity and virtue related to modesty, fidelity, and temperance. It typically involves self-control and respect for oneself and others. It is an act of personal discipline that reflects a deep dedication to higher perseverance, dealing with faithfulness in a relationship or spiritual faith.

Is Chastity only to practice Abstinence and take a vow of Celibacy as the self-proclaimed preaching of purity, innocence, and humility? Is it merely the forte of yellow saffron Sadhus, Priests, Monks, and Maulvis who force it as a strength or ritual to reveal a clean social image?

Chastity is truthfulness, representing honesty and consistency with values, intentions, and desires. However, it can also be referred to as an overrated word in the vocabulary, forcing people to forcefully accept harsh norms and principles. At the same time, the undercover story is entirely different and ridiculous.

Is it sick, sinful and unnatural to think about love and lovemaking? Is it against the laws of nature? Physical contact or sexuality is a basic instinct, a natural calling, a God’s gift to living beings for procreation and growth.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Chastity as the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse. However, it’s important to note that the philosophy of Chastity has evolved with time and the generation’s metamorphosis, reflecting the changing societal norms and values.

‘Chastity is more an emotional state than anatomy.’ Banish all objects of lust, shut up all youth into the severest discipline that can be exercised in any hermitage – you cannot make them chaste. Every sincere emotion churning from the subconscious heart is chaste and pious to them.

The mind smothers the intellect and infuses wrong signals under social pretences. Chastity instigates in the heart but is also associated with the body and senses.

ALDOUS HUXLEY said, ‘Chastity is the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.’

According to philosophical theories, humans have FOUR fundamental biological drives – Acquiring (the drive to obtain resources for survival), Bonding (the drive to form relationships and social bonds), Learning (the drive to acquire knowledge and skills), and Defending (the drive to protect oneself and one’s resources). These drives shape our actions and decisions, including those related to chastity.

There are three primary survival instincts – Self-preservation (feeding, protection, and shelter) — Sexual consummation (to have a progeny) and social appraisal (power, position, and appreciation.)

How can someone suppress their basic instincts for chastity and mental virtue under the pressure of social enforcement? Remember, ‘Chastity should be a preference, not a compulsion.’ It’s your choice and control to define the path of virtue, guided by your beliefs and values. You are the architect of your moral compass, and your commitment plays a crucial role.

The Hindi blockbuster movie Sanyasi was a satire and a slap in the face to the saffron-clad sadhus and mahants who, in the name of chastity and purity, preached and practised a nasty carnal game with the devotees. As an adolescent, I was intrigued, losing faith and reverence in the sadhu’s holiness. There are countless stories and incidents about such exploits in the various schools of piety.

But is Chastity only about sexual exploits and ventures and misadventures?

The real meaning of chastity is faith and purity—a vow and solemn pledge towards community, country, humanity, and above all, yourself. Once the commitment loses its brilliance, society destroys itself and decays.

Chastity and fidelity are the cornerstones of a happy, stable, and emotionally consummated marriage. However, the spouses should establish and uphold their guidelines and conditions to bring happiness and harmony in marriage. These complex issues, such as accepting and tolerating relationships outside the wedlock, depend on mutual understanding, agreements, and preferences. Through these, healthy communication and respect between partners can be fostered.

A wife may sportingly accept her husband going out with his female secretary for an official dinner (and vice versa). At the same time, it may be a breach of trust and infidelity for another person. Thinking or imagining someone else while performing a mundane bed ritual each night is common in couples – Is this infidelity?

Follow the ‘Geeta’ of love and empathy to avoid the ‘Mahabharata’ in marriage. One’s experience and perspective matter, are valid and should be respected in love and other relationships.

The virtue of Chastity also blossoms in friendships, which are meaningful alliances that are not opportunistic, frivolous, or suffocate once the back is turned. True friendship is surrendering oneself and allowing divine participation. Initiating and following a friendship requires commitment, chastity, secrecy, and assurance.

 “Chastity is not about following set rules to avoid Hell – It’s about wanting Heaven for the person you love.”

Every religion and cult doctrine has specific Laws of Chastity. But are these laws fundamental? Do they assure happiness, longevity and progress? Is true love a domain of chaste women and men?

It’s time to question these norms and form opinions. We should boldly challenge the status quo as our independent thinking and questioning of the norms instigate and nurture intellectual freedom, empowering us to create our views about purity and relationships.

The vocabulary seems defective, needing rectification – ‘We give the same name to a woman’s lack of temptation and a man’s lack of opportunity.’ Can an un-attempted woman and man boast of chastity?

Chastity is like an onion in a series of coats. Talking about dating, abstinence becomes a greater expression of love than ‘making love’ because one does what is best for the beloved, not just what feels good in that short moment.

“When you have decided firmly to lead a clean life, Chastity will not burden you. It will be a crown of triumph.”

Instead of carelessly following the rules, set your guidelines of virtue and pursue them with conviction and soulful belief.

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