Life & Love,Relationships



Is CHASTITY only to practice Abstinence and take a vow of Celibacy? — Is it the self-proclaimed preaching of purity, innocence, and modesty? — Is chastity merely the forte of Yellow Saffron Sadhus, Church Persona, Monks, and Maulvis? 

Is chastity a strength or is it just a forced ritual to reveal a clean social image?


CHASTITY, to me, is the most overrated word in the human vocabulary that compels people to forcefully accept harsh norms and principles, while the undercover story is entirely different and farcical.

Why should someone take a vow of not having and not even thinking about physical contact? It is sick and unnatural – against the laws of nature. Having physical contact is a natural calling, a God’s gift to living beings. With time and the generation’s metamorphosis, the school of chastity regarding sex has changed.

‘Chastity is more an emotional state than anatomy.’ Banish all objects of lust, shut up all youth into the severest discipline that can be exercised in any hermitage – you cannot make them chaste. Every sincere emotion that churns out from the subconscious heart is chaste and pious. It’s the mind that smothers the intellect and infuses wrong signals under social pretenses. Chastity depends on the heart as its source. But it is related to the body and senses.

ALDOUS HUXLEY says, ‘Chastity is the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.’


Human beings have FOUR fundamental, biological drives – Acquiring, Bonding, Learning, and Defending.

There are THREE main survival instincts –

*Self-preservation (Feeding, protection, and shelter)

*Sexual consummation (to have a progeny)

*Social appraisal (power, position, and appreciation.)

How can one massacre his basic instincts on the altar of social enforcement to be chaste and mentally virtuous? ‘Chastity should be by choice, not by compulsion.’ Coercion leads to deceit and moral disloyalty.

Remember the seventies Hindi blockbuster movie, ‘Sanyasi’? It was a satire and a slap in the face to the saffron-clad sadhus and mahants who preach and practice a different carnal game with the devotees in the name of God and chastity. I was an adolescent and was intrigued and lost faith in the chastity and sadhus of holiness whose feet I used to touch for blessings. There are innumerable stories about such exploits in the various schools of religion and cults.

Is chastity only about sexual exploits and ventures and misadventures?

The real meaning of chastity is faith and piety – a vow and solemn pledge towards community, country, humanity, and above all –YOURSELF. Society is also bound by this commitment. The moment commitment loses its brilliance; society begins to destroy itself.

Chastity and fidelity are the foundation of a happy, stable, and emotionally consummated relationship. But is stability solely a female liability? NO! Male chastity and fidelity too are required to be of the same shades and flavors.

In Nuptial life, the rules and conditions are documented by the individuals involved. Tolerance towards relationships outside marriage within permissible limits and situations depends on the spouse, no rule book or principle. A wife may not object to her husband going out with his female secretary for an official dinner (and vice-versa) while another wife may call it a breach of trust and infidelity. Thinking of another woman while in bed with a wife is also infidelity –is it? Tell me, how many couples don’t fancy a film star performing a mundane bed ritual each night? Is it infidelity?


Well, as I said – it’s individual selection and understanding. Follow the ‘Geeta’ of love and empathy to avoid the ‘Mahabharata’ of marriage.

The virtue of chastity blossoms in Friendships. I am talking of meaningful alliances, not opportunistic and frivolous associations that stop breathing once the back is turned. True friendship is giving oneself completely and allowing participation in the divine estate. There has to be profound chastity in initiating and following the person you have chosen as a friend. Secrecy and assurance are the chastity of friendship.

 “Chastity is not about following set rules to avoid HELL – It’s about wanting HEAVEN for the person you love.”

Every religion and cult doctrine has certain LAWS OF CHASTITY. Are these laws really important? By following them, is happiness and immortality assured? Can they be assured of progress in eternity? Is true love a forte only for chaste women and men?

I feel that our vocabulary is defective and needs rectification – ‘We give the same name to a woman’s lack of temptation and a man’s lack of opportunity.’ Can an un-attempted woman and man boast of chastity?

Chastity is like an onion, in a series of coats. When it comes to dating, abstinence becomes a greater expression of love than ‘making love’ because one does what is best for the beloved, not just what feels good in that short moment.

“When you have decided firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you. It will be a crown of triumph.” Instead of blindly following rules, set your guidelines of chastity and pursue them with conviction and soulful belief.












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  1. Dr Ashok Kumar Ojha says:

    The blog..Chastity -How truthful -How feasible -How pious.. has nicely been illustrated. The sanctity of word Chastity in inself is pious and pure.Nevertheless, it is seen that Chastity is difficult to propogate.In today’s time when girls and boys or ladies and men are rubbing their shoulders to become a front runner is a cut throat competition, intermingling is just not possible… If a person excels by fair means to notch top post, it is fair enough.Otherwise men and women resorts to ulterior means to come on the top.In the last 2-3 decades, a surge is seen in the enterence of women folk in both private and public sectors.. Demanding jobs and late hours sitting may bring them closer too.Now comes the main issue..If relationship remains confined to just a colleague, fair en.ough.Otherwise, such relationships tend to move closer and develops proximity..Here the significance of Chastity is defeated altogether.Even in husband -wife relationship, chaste and pious behaviour are important.These relationship can sustain if Chastity is truthful and pious.Over the years, it is seen that many desciples, no matter whether a girl or a boy seek Diksha at a very young age and become Muni or Sanyasi.They have undergone a ritual durin their attainment process and it is sacrosanct by their choice.Si, to uphold values of Chastity is sacrosanct.It is to be made feasible and religiously follwed.
    Wonderful blog Dr Anuj..

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      I want to congratulate and thank you for such elaborate views and analysis of my blogs. I look forward to your write-ups.
      Chastity, as I mentioned has always intrigued me. Life these days is a compromise and an adjustment. Be it a job or relationship, everything comes with a price and a selfish attitude. Chastity nosedives when ulterior motives are revealed. Chastity carries weight when people follow its sanctity in their lives and everything around them. The battle is won when a person becomes chaste toward his thoughts and develops a connection with his soul.
      thanks a lot, Ashok Bhai. Regards.

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