Life & Love


Relationships are nurtured by physical and emotional proximity. How do you cope with emotional lynching when distance is imposed forcefully? Depending on the profundity of the relationship, the body and mind behave likewise. The ‘happy hormone’ of togetherness faces scarceness and instigates a deficiency syndrome, enforcing depression, hollowness, and irritation.


‘Out of sight— out of mind’ may justify trivial and ephemeral relationships and alliances, but when – ‘Dil Da Mamala Hai’, out of sight doesn’t matter.

The distance doesn’t have to be overseas, or – ‘Saat Samandar Paar’ – HIS heart pains when SHE bids him goodbye after a day’s meeting, even after promising to meet the following day.

When it comes to a long-distance alliance, success depends on the commitment and dedication of the individuals involved.

Modern technology and science have shrunk the distance. You can talk and see your sweetheart and beloved doing all the chores, like sitting in your lap.

I am pulled back to the early sixties when my brother left for his maiden journey to the United States of America for his Masters. A telephone call was the most expensive and painful ordeal as hours of wait would lead to a croaky, disrupted conversation with the operator constantly listening and poking through the minutes. Writing a letter or sending a birthday card had no possibility of hitting the destination at the correct time — the emotion changed or mellowed down by the time it went across. I remember the emotion and exultation I felt upon receiving airmail with fancy stamps. I felt like I was in seventh heaven and boasted amongst my friends.

I could see the pain on my mother’s face when the posts were delayed. A similar pain if I do not talk to my children every day.

The understanding and depth of the emotions involved are debatable – was it profound when there was scarce communication, OR is it now when the beloved is just a dial away? Instead of the previous emotional craving, I feel that, NOW, communicating is more of a habit and a routine – that excitement and thrill are missing. Nowadays, mothers instruct their naïve married daughters in a video call to cook Dal and put masala into the Palak paneer.

Successful long-distance relationships, however, thrive on active communication, mutual trust and shared goals. Despite the physical distance, an honest conversation helps to maintain a strong connection.

Human psychology and requirements vary with relationships. Again, distance doesn’t really matter. There are days when you miss your partner – there are days when you crave that space and want to stay away – then, there are situations when you are just happy and contented to have someone out there who loves you and cares for you unconditionally.

‘It is not the distance that’s the enemy, but the endless time I have to wait to hold you in my arms.’

They say that the pain of partying is nothing compared to the joy of meeting again. But what about the pain of enduring long distances? The pain is overwhelming, voiceless and silent. I grieved that pain in my father’s blank eyes when my mother left him. He suffered agony for the next three years until he undertook an eternal journey to be with her.

Some childhood relationships and friendships survive the heat and gales of time and distance. Strong affection and naïve mutual admiration simmer beneath the frozen sheets of time.

Sometimes, someone is short on words, and the expressions do not live up to the mark. The heat of romance and love seems to die down. At such times, does distance matter? The person feels the void even when sitting next to their beloved. It has been the most prolonged and most painful journey. This is the biggest test of perseverance and commitment.

And sometimes, people find an emotional and intellectual match even while sitting miles away, merely by clicking buttons on Facebook or Instagram.


‘Love is not something you find – Love is something that finds you.’





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  1. Janice says:

    Every word mentioned relates to our personal lives. Love as we knows, has no barriers.
    Distances become shorter if there is true love.
    Bravo! Well coordinated write up Doctor. Excellent 💯😃

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Thank you so much Janice for appreciating the blog.


    Superb write..!

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      thanks bro

  3. Dr Ashok Kumar Ojha says:

    The blog”Surviving a long distance relationship ” has been scripted aptly citing reasons for its survival as well as for its gradually waning out. As rightly said long distance was symptomatically a curse earlier say before eighties, when it was nearly impossible to talk to your near and dear ones satisfactorily. It so happened once in the past that my close friend Anil Lal had come to Kolkata, then calcutta, when I was posted at Sibsagar, Assam while working with ONGC. It’s period around late eighties. He had informed me well in advance that during a specific period he will be there in Calcutta. I booked a call from a distant booth in SBS. When my number came I could barley talk to him for one minute or so even after paying a hefty amount. So I would say that it was really a herculean task in those days to book a trunk call and talk precisely. Now, over the years, the information technology has evolved immensely and it is so convenient to talk hours together even to a friend who is at a distant place or say abroad also. Of late, the situation is taking a topsy turvey turn. People do have an indefinite alocated time towards calls in their mobiles. Even then, they prefer to text messages, not only for well being but also for important issues.What to say about making a call….The latest example in this line is of wedding cards. The e-card is posted on whatsapp. No phones, no personal request is made thereafter.Though such instances are a very few.Now it’s up to you to decide whether to attend or not. So long distance relationship, not only of abroad but also of within the country has become a whatsapp affair. I don’t mean the relationship is dwindling at any level. The thickness amongst friends or relatives remain the same. It so happens that the conversation is cut short and a request is made that thoda baad mein baat karta hun..Now, one can only infer that the affection with your loved ones is not there as it used to be before inception of whatsapp or say during landline era. I feel distance is directly proportional to friendship.And it should be. The more the distance is, the thicker friendship becomes. Very nice blog Dr Anuj.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Very well written Ashok bhai. I feel that somewhere the warmth in relationships has taken a nosedive. That earlier effort and wait, used to add up to the craving which is now missing. Well communication is the key to any relationship. No matter how, it has to be continued, not broken.
      Thanks for your input.

  4. Dr Man Mohan Agrawal says:

    Dear Anuj,
    Each word of your blogs is meaningful. Few lines of your blogs really touch the bottom of heart of reader. Superb Blog!

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      thank you so much dear for the appreciation . Regards

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