“PARENTS” are SPECTATORS, WHO WATCH THE CHILDREN– ‘YOUNG TURKS’ PERFORM.

“PARENTS” are SPECTATORS, WHO WATCH THE CHILDREN– ‘YOUNG TURKS’ PERFORM.

Just think of the pigeon eggs in a clumsy nest in your attic. They hatch into ugly looking babies pretty soon. In days past, the babies would grow feathers and, hey, look! They have already started pouncing on the first flight. The role of the parents who nurtured the eggs and babies ends here. The semi-adult birds are now on their own – their parents are nowhere to be seen. All animals endure the same course of parenting and development.

But humans have a different story to narrate.

We have extended parenthood that may stretch into generations — with the emotional, mental, physical, and financial turmoil of conceding by ‘choice’ OR ‘compulsion’ to its finale.

In the process, we often interrogate ourselves—are we good parents? Well, the truth is that there is no such thing as a perfect parent – ‘just be a real one.’

Over time, the gist of parenting has changed dimensions.

Parenting is to provide the basics and then sit in life’s stadium arena as spectators and watch to cheer up the YOUNG TURKS (A young person eager for radical change to the established order) who are playing the game of their lives steered by their own instincts and logic.

These children are authoritative, mature (more than we think of), youthful, courageous and hard-working.

Good parenting is letting the kids play their instinctive game. You can be a good spectator and cheer them on with great moves – Don’t interfere in their strategy without being asked or consulted – Adulate them categorically on their win and reassure them when they lose.

There aren’t any rules or guidelines for parenting– that’s what is challenging and daunting.

Parents need to trust their instincts and ideals. The problem starts when they judge their children’s moves and motives and force them to foster their dreams. A substantial amount of time is lost in the mundane process that compromises the family’s happiness.

The easiest thing, however, about parenting is to make a momentous decision and produce a baby. Just a few moves of pleasure, right?

Authentic parenting starts with the first cry of the child. The biggest challenge is to decide forever how to have your heart go walking and running around outside your frame.

Parenting draws the curtain on the real drama. While raising the child, the parents learn and evaluate their strengths and acquire the courage to deal with the fears that hover like dark clouds. There is no scope for getting drained or fatigued by everyday events and ailments – If you are not tired, you are probably not doing your job correctly.

While the young ones grow feathers to fly, their parents learn life’s intricacies. The process of erudition goes hand in hand. While the parents watch the child walk and stumble—the child is also watching them. He constantly scrutinizes his parent’s behaviour and attitude toward him and each other. LOVING COUPLES RAISE AFFECTIONATE CHILDREN.

Remember – Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is the rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” RUMI.

Mind you – Hitting a child teaches them that the person hitting them is not safe, whether they are being hit for a valid reason, caution or a lesson. Don’t get irritated at the mess your children have created on your premises. Just pardon them.

They are making innocent memories for you — you will embrace the stuffed toys and feel the jargon markings on the walls and cry for them the day they are gone.

STOP! – please stop thinking and taking for granted your ownership of your children by merely sharing your genetic material and raising them.

DR BRIAN WEISS, the world-famous American psychiatrist, says –” Your children are souls who have opted for the zygote of your ovum and sperm to come into this world. They are on a journey by their own natural selection. As a parent, you are simply the provider, not the master of their lives and destiny. Children will pave their way through learning and intellect. They are life itself, wanting to express themselves. It is certainly not our toil to toughen the children to face the ruthless world – let’s just raise them by infusing morals to make the world a little less cruel and heartless place to live in.”

“We have to prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.” TIM ELMORE

Talk to your children, assuring them that they are the wisest, loveliest humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.

Let them know that they are loved.

Love provides the cushion to fall back on and renders a feeling of safety, strength and courage to face the world.

‘It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.’

However, there is a flip side to good parenting as well . . .

The parents may not be the owners, but indeed, they are the sacred temple that has churned out a life. They deserve respect, emotional reverence and physical veneration and care as they age and suffer.

Parents should have self-respect and shouldn’t yield to their emotional dependence on the generation that divulges by rendering care and affection at the time of need.

Parents should know when to detach emotionally. They shouldn’t rubberneck to interfere in the children’s affairs and comprehend when to lodge in silence when communication is missing. Love them but don’t stress about getting caught up in their drama.

Parents should save enough warmth for the wintertime – so that they don’t have to beg for heat from the next-door heater.

“Parenting is hard, especially trying to be PATIENT with little versions of IMPATIENT you.”

My favourite quote on parenthood . . .

“Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they’re already asleep.” H. JACKSON BROWN, JR.

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