MAKE A PROMISE – Only if you can keep it.

People often make promises with good intentions, honestly believing they can follow through. There can be a concealed desire to please others at the moment or to avoid a conflict. However, life takes turns, and situations become complex, so the charm or initial passion fades, and promises are broken.

Some people make promises out of specific compulsions or pressure and are unsure of fulfilling them. They must evaluate the time, energy and resources involved in keeping them.

Broken promises reflect a person’s personality and commitment. Building trust is about reliability, and broken promises smother faith in relationships.

“Promises can be made to lull the heart and seduce the soul.”

‘Promise’ – To say definitively that you will or will not do something or that something will happen.

The tradition of making promises can be traced back to the earliest days of human communication. The concept of a promise, an assurance of doing something, has been a part of our social fabric since the dawn of language.

We may not have learned much as kids, but “I promise you” was the most important phrase to remember, and one was committed to anything and everything. The school was an excellent place to experiment with all kinds of promises. Everything was an assurance, abiding by what you said or were likely to follow.

Some attractive childhood promises were ‘By God’, ‘I swear on you’, etc. These were self-proclaimed assertions and carried a certain profundity and depth. ‘By Father’ was most reflective and popular, and once accepted, it was understood to be strictly followed, no matter what.

‘I swear’, is now part of the standard vocabulary people follow in everyday conversation. How about people touching their heads, again and again, saying ‘Touchwood’ – They accept that their skull is nothing but a piece of lumber.

Every accomplished act or deed needs a guarantee; making a promise is the best way to ensure the needful.

Taking an ‘Oath’ is a close cousin of the promise. The Oath is a solemn pledge to God, King, or another supreme person to attest to the truth of a statement or contract.

‘The Oath is to pledge – Promise is to commit and affirm.’

A promise is sacred and verbal; it should become a commitment, not be broken. But honestly, promises suffer the most obnoxious brunt because they are bound to be broken.

People do understand, but they get fascinated, allured, and carried away by the promises the next-door politician makes, with folded hands, while asking for votes each time. We all tolerate and endure the mayhem these fake promises suffer once the elections are over.

Promises keep us moving forward, centred, genuine, and optimistic. It may be tough to keep them, but we should still be able to avoid them altogether.

No wonder breaking a promise is wrong, but letting the promise break you is even worse.

Bhishm Pitamah of Mahabharata ceded his rights for his father’s happiness and took the vow of lifelong celibacy — because of this colossal promise, he came to be known as Bhishm. He was blessed to live as long as he wanted. His promise, however, distressed him when he couldn’t help the deplorable and emotionally desperate Draupadi during the infamous ‘Cheerharan’. The epic is saddled and dotted with plentiful examples of vows taken and broken conveniently according to the situation and expediency.

The acid test of the promises comes in the Love relationships, where lifelong commitments are made. It is kept or annihilated—who knows? The character of these lovebirds is revealed not by the promises they make – but by the promises they hold. The ‘poetic hyperbole’ of a promise is — to get the Moon or pluck the Stars for the lady’s lap. Does she truly want this? She wants a commitment of togetherness under the Moon and the stars forever.

Countless relationships have been shattered because of broken promises, causing heartbreak and emotional turmoil. While people may have good intentions when making promises, it takes good character to keep those commitments. A true gentleman holds a promise, but a loser only squanders it. This underlines the weight of our actions and the crucial role of trust in relationships.

FIVE PROMISES to make when in love —

*Be Valiant if you believe in it.

*Be Tougher than what you have seen.

*Be Cleverer than you think.

*Be Humble and trustworthy.

*Be Passionate as you reflect.

Besides promising to others, we have specific commitments to ourselves. These personal promises, made with sincerity and assurance, are crucial for maintaining a balanced, purposeful and fulfilled life. They empower us to take control of our growth and development —

*Promise to self-care – nurture physical, mental and emotional well-being by maintaining balance and resilience.

*Empathy towards yourself – Deal with yourself with humility and understanding.

*Track growth – Be open to knowledge and passions and endeavour to push yourself to creativity.

*Behold Reality – Stay true, avoid regrets, and rejoice in small wins while beholding your dreams.

*Trust Intuitions – Listen to your gut feeling and stay positive.

“Promise to Mind and Heart might falter – Promise to the soul entices it and stays forever.”

Broken self-promises devastate the soul and haunt it in the silence of sleepless nights. It’s hard because as soon as one promises to avoid something, it becomes a wishful priority—the one thing above all others that one craves to do. Ask a diabetic what it takes to discard sweets, a chain smoker to quit smoking or a drunkard to shelve consuming alcohol.

The slower the people make promises, the more faithful they prove in their performances.

“Broken vows are like broken mirrors. They leave those who held to them bleeding and staring at fractured images of themselves.” RICHARD PAUL EVANS.

The Most Romantic Promise – “I promise to plant kisses like seeds on your body, so in time you will grow to love yourself as I love you.”

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