PAIN IS INEVITABLE . . . ‘SUFFERING’ IS OPTIONAL.

‘Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional’— is a simple mantra, imploring us to recognize and understand the inspirational nugget at its core. It came from none other than . . . DALAI LAMA and HARUKI MURAKAMI.

PAIN is the sensitivity of that disagreeable sensation that hits all of us at some stage of our lives physically, emotionally and spiritually.

‘Pain is inevitable’ – it will happen, no matter what you do.

SUFFERING is the brawl, the apprehension, the antipathy, the self-pity and a weird feeling of defeatism that follows the pain.

‘Suffering is Optional’ – Two persons may have a diverse approach to enduring and responding to a situation.

However, to let go of suffering, you must first allow and accept the pain.

Remember the famous Rajesh Khanna (Anand) blockbuster movie – ‘Anand’? The film’s wittiest part was when he was asked about his problem, and jokingly he narrates his illness as a simple common cold  . . . ‘Lymphosarcoma of the Nose.’ His pain was palpable in his loneliness and silence, but he veiled his suffering with his cheerful personality and apparent happiness. Anand thought that his sufferings were avoidable – he kept trying to nullify the sorrow. In a way, he kept treating the people around him as objects of happiness and catharsis, and he went overboard by being friendly and loving them. When death was almost snatching Anand’s soul – he did not complain of the overbearing pain he must have been tolerating. His suffering was the thought of the pain that his death would cause to his best friend . . . Babu Moshai (Amitabh Bachchan).

Though Anand conquered Pain, he could not overpower the emotional Suffering.

In my surgical practice, I deal with pain on an everyday basis. There is a gross discrepancy in the level of tolerance to the pain. A four-year-old child may tolerate pain in more subtle ways than a forty-year-old hunk who creates a stir at the sight of the injection. Pain is inevitable and common to both, but suffering is different.

Can we choose to avoid the pain of emotion? No, we cannot. Pain engulfs us in one form or the other and expects a reaction of suffering or action to protect us. Fury, humiliation, guilt, distress and grief play an essential role in our lives and even our existence.

The intensity of pain is directly proportional to the depth of suffering regardless of one’s choice or option. Suffering is a recurrent letdown in acting effectively on the natural inspiration of pain to accomplish something that may restore, repair or recover.

A broken or jilted heart understands the real meaning of pain and subsequent suffering.

“No matter you break a temple or a mosque – don’t ever dare to break a heart in love – a sweetheart lives in that “. BULLEH SHAH.

LOVE and obsessive INFATUATION brings forth a diverse level of empathy and pain. Unlike the mingling of nerve receptors and the brain’s subsequent reprisal, this pain is more poetic and is experienced by the heart rather than the mind. However, the adrenaline rush due to a romantic emotion in the brain may cause the person to sweat profusely with palpitations. Abnormal cardiac activity blocks our ability to think clearly. The erratic emotional patterns are referred to as the brain’s emotional centres, which it recognizes as negative or stressful feelings.

PLATO, the great philosopher, agreed that the heart was linked to our strongest emotions, including love. He argued for the dominant role of the chest in love and negative emotional states like fear, anger and rage.

“Love comes from the brain and can manifest itself in the heart – Emotions emanate from the brain.” HIPPOCRATES.

No matter what your understanding of pain is in love, however, SUFFERING is the same. A heartbroken person can suffer in various ways.

Three young boys from my medical school committed suicide by hanging and infusing drugs because of heartbreak. Pain because of the jilt was inevitable. Still, the suffering was optional, and they preferred a more straightforward way to avoid torture. They opted to end their journey rather than grow a beard and wander about like a DEVDAS. Was their action justified? – Well, that’s debatable.

To ‘suffer’ is a challenge and to suffer the ‘suffering’ is an arduous task.

How can we overcome the suffering? Can we overpower the stress, or should we succumb to its mayhems?

*Understand and comprehend your suffering by analyzing the situation logically and rationally.

*Find ways to ease your suffering – only you can do it. Indulge in fun activities.

*Look around plausibly – there is more suffering around you.

*Forward your shoulder to a sufferer — Your suffering will melt with the warmth of his tears.

*Be verbal and expressive about your sufferings to your non-judgmental confidante – You will be comforted.

*There is always a sermon between the lines – Learn more, comprehend and communicate more to decipher your journey and fight to endure the unforeseen obstacles.

Undoubtedly, pain is inevitable – “When you think about it that way, it’s going to hurt, but you are the one who’s making a choice of whether you are going to suffer or not – SO CHOOSE, NOT TO SUFFER.”

I still wonder – Why do we relate to people more profoundly and deeply when they connect through pain, not frivolity? There is undoubtedly a “Dard Ka Rishta” that amalgamates two souls intensely. We find love and warmth in the mutual sharing of suffering.

. . . I would be sore if I didn’t mention the famous Talat Mehmood’s old melody – “Hain Sabse Madhur Geet Jinhe, Hum Dard Ke Sur May Gaate Hain”.

Now it’s for you to understand the intricacies of inevitable pain and the optional depth of suffering.

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