War in relationships, often called the Cold War, is a unique and underestimated form of conflict. Unlike physical wars fought with cannonballs and missiles, this war is characterised by emotional distance, tension, and egoistic conflict between partners. It’s a silent battle in which each partner fights their internal struggles, leading to a breakdown in communication and emotional connection.
A Cold War in a relationship is not a dead end despite its challenges. With patience, vulnerability, and a commitment to rebuilding trust and emotional connection, it’s not just possible but hopeful to break the dynamics of this silent battle. There is always a potential for resolution, a light at the end of the tunnel.
“In that Cold War between us, your avoidance of me makes me feel a bomb was dropped inside my territory. You use Silence as a sword to stab inside my heart. Without knowing you and me, it is only between Ego and Friendship.”
Just as wars fought with missiles cause colossal collateral damage, the Cold War in relationships inflicts its form of devastation. The pain of unresolved conflicts reverberates through human lives, leaving behind emotional wreckage. This pain is a stark reminder of the urgent need to address and resolve our relationship issues, urging us to act before it’s too late.
Childhood was so beautiful and naïve with fistfights and ‘no talking’ or snubbing for days – then a handshake and nonchalantly moving on as if nothing happened — A life without any baggage and grudges, with a clear and naïve heart.
“What’s life without a Cold War between two friends who used to be like blah blah to Hhmm Hhmm?” GEETANJALI
Amit and Aseem have been roommates in the hostel since their first year of medical school. The partnership survived a record six years, happily sharing each moment and setting an example of mutual understanding and empathy.
Something weird happened later, and like a cold war, they stopped communicating. Spending time in the claustrophobic room’s premises became torture and mental anguish. Finally, unable to sustain the emotional torture, Aseem moved out of the room with his baggage without telling Amit. Years passed in the cold war, and both moved in life, losing the sweet alliance forever.
What if they just talked and communicated?
What if they entered a fistfight of words and abuses and voiced their miseries?
What if there was a mediator to clear the misunderstanding and bring them together?
What if one person undermined his ego, hugged the other, and apologised unconditionally?
It is all about simple Communication. This humble yet powerful tool is the key and the steering wheel to unlocking the doors of understanding and empathy, putting you in control of your relationship’s direction. By communicating openly and honestly, you can take charge of your relationship and steer it towards resolution.
Someone rightly quoted, “The distance between two human beings in an ego clash is the biggest distance to travel.”
The two people may be living together and sharing the same bed but may be shy of freely discussing a situation, clouding their intellect and creating a mental divide. The fresh snow eventually turns into a rocky ice mould that doesn’t melt, forcing an icy winter of silence and negativity.
It’s a horrid feeling when you can’t love anymore and brood, unable to communicate the pain of loneliness and anguish to the person who shattered your heart. The ice of silence freezes all the passions and smothers the fire of desire and sensitivity.
Someone rightly coated —
‘Having a place to go is Home.
Having someone to love is Family.
Having both is a Blessing, but
Having a Cold War with your nearest one is a Curse and
Winning the Cold War is a Boon.’
To succeed in a relationship, one must learn to ignore the insignificant details and mundane explanations and have confidence in one’s beliefs and faith.
Nothing is wrong with throwing plates, breaking chinaware using the fiercest and flowery abuses, or even banging one’s head against the wall. But don’t let anger simmer inside; scorching love and empathy in the asphyxiating smoke of disbelief and curse. Coldness crumbles the best of chiselled castles of love and affinity.
Ways to overcome a cold war –
* Accept the problem – Understand the mental and emotional strain and do not ignore it.
* Open the lines of communiqué – Initiating a tranquil and appeasing conversation.
* Be sympathetic – try to judge the other person’s viewpoint.
*Don’t be shy to apologise – show emotional maturity.
* Develop trustworthiness and care by resurrecting trust with kind gestures.
* Set boundaries for communication and emotional needs.
* Practice patience – healing is a slow process.
Mind you, in essence, relationships play a vital role in shaping our emotional well-being, mental health, and overall life satisfaction. They are like investments, giving long-term returns if nourished properly and smartly.
Having a RAGING, FUMING WAR is better than a COLD WAR.
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Wow beautifully explained
thanks a lot sir