TOO MUCH DEPENDENCE AND EXPECTATIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS..... NEED OF "SPACE"...
Relationships

TOO MUCH DEPENDENCE AND EXPECTATIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS….. NEED OF “SPACE”…

They say there is an almost unfathomable SPACE around our planet. God knows who created this Universe and the infinite space enveloping the trillion of heavenly bodies, all floating in unison and discipline. Probably God also doesn’t know..Does God exist, anyway.?

But, there is a SPACE , a vacuum, a silence that envelopes every human body.
Man is born with this space . There is an aura of individuality and personal perceptions that has to be understood and respected.
BUT DO WE UNDERSTAND THE DIVINITY OF THIS SPACE?
NO, WE DON’T….

In our lifetime we keep indulging in Relationships and liasons.
One are those Relationships that we get through the Sperm and Ova union. These are forced alliances and have to be managed throughout life.

My focus is on the RELATIONSHIPS  that we form everyday and give them certain names and pedestal.
Many  times we forget the SHIELD OF SPACE that we were born with. We allow trespassing.
We allow people to cross the fence and visit this side. Better thing is to make them sit in the patio and let them go after a cup of hot coffee.

BUT, to some we open the main door of our rendezvous.
This unintentional intrusion may cost a lot of emotional and physical turmoil.

Expectations In Relationship

Sarah met John on a casual date. There was an instant connect and the chemistry matched. The very formal conversation changed to little personal and the duo started sharing their personal lives and activities. In few days they started helping each other in personal matters.
Slowly a DEPENDENCE developed and this led to serious Expectations in Relationships .
After almost a year of the hunky dory stuff the couple broke apart. What was left behind was a heap of depressive abuses , trash load of tear wet tissues and numerous sleepless nights.

IS THIS LOVE?

Realistic Expectations In A Relationship 

The question is..what else is love ? Two people are solely living in each others life , virtually taking care of the physical needs and gratifications and in a way fulfilling the emotional requirements as well.
NO…This is not Love.
THIS IS ENCROACHMENT OF SPACE.

Khalil Gibran said ” Love is to be free. Love has no binding or expectations.”

When we bind someone in the chains of our DEPENDENCE..” what will happen to me if you are not there” .. Truss of EXPECTATIONS ” I have done so much in the relationship , my efforts , my self and you don’t take efforts or commitments”..

Dependence+ Expectations= FRUSTRATIONS + DEPRESSION.

This is the formula of tearjerking end of the serious celluloid.
More so, if the relationship ends on a sorry note. There can be a virtual physical and emotional fist fight to let the other person realise and feel what he is on the verge of losing.

WHY TO BE SO MUCH DEPENDENT?

We are individuals and born to be free to make our choices and decisions. Suggestions and support are welcome BUT…a big NAAH to depending on the whims of the partner.
The partner can turn hostile anytime and what will happen to you when you will not know where to get the grocery from( joking,,,).

Remember to respect your SPACE.

Realistic Expectations In A Relationship

*Don’t just ignore the haunches of your mind when the Heart is doing a full-time locum. The mind and intuition always prompts when to say a NO.

*Don’t spill all your very personal and secret things in the flow of lovey dovey dialogue exchanges.

* Don’t indulge in the social obligations of the partner , all the time. Both should have their own sets of friends.

* Try to do your daily chores and financial commitments yourself.

* When away for sometime don’t keep googling the maps to locate him or her. And for sure don’t keep texting about his activity or try to tell him your doing.

* Don’t depend on the partner to entertain you, in your free time. Develop your own passions and hobbies that are solely your domain and are the best friends of your leisure.

* It’s fun and romantic to take trips and outings with the partner. But also do your own solo outings and excursions including watching a movie alone. May be the likings don’t match. so don’t asphyxiate your desires to watch theatre or a    music concert which your partner hates.

* Try to adjust , but don’t change your food habits and wardrobe on the pretext of the others whims and likes.

LOVE they say is blind. There has to be total submission and commitment to consumate an emotional journey.
BUT,
No matter how profane the alliance is, the SPACE has to be honoured. No relationship, can give a life long guarantee of its stay and existence.
Every morning has to face an evening.
Everything around us is going to leave us at some stage.
The only thing that will remain is the SPACE.
Even if we believe in the mythology then the Soul will also travel in SPACE leaving the insolent body behind.
Every evening when at leisure , sit on a recline and ponder … How beautiful it is to Expect the best from myself…and..how heart filling it is to Depend on my own histrionics and abilities.
LOVE yourself.

 

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6 Comments

  1. Sidharth Gupta says:

    Awesome

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      thanks a lot dear

  2. Harvijay Singh Bahia says:

    Relationship is universal…our entire life is dependent upon our attitude towards it…a blog for this essential aspect will bring a diverse perspective to every individual ….being a part of this blog will add to our understanding….my compliments.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      thank you so much for the compliments. I appreciate your views. regards

  3. Dr Rakesh Minocha says:

    Great thoughts, expectations & dependence in day to day relations we form, should not be there,no doubt. Personal space of everyone needs to be respected BUT what is your opinion for a bond known as marriage,which in Hindu mythology has been given importance to the highest level– Soulmate, Ardhangini.
    Some space should be there also, but don’t you think that increasing need of this space in today’s era is the main reason for increasing divorces.
    So would love to read your next blog on” space in married life in Indian society”

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      I thoroughly appreciate your views on the subject. You are right there has to be space in married life too. regards

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