“FLIRTING”: AN ART – A Complex Interplay of Toxicity and Playfulness.

In our society, flirting is often a delicate balance. A man complimenting a woman on her appearance or attire, for instance, may be seen as flirting. However, the line between a playful, innocent compliment and a sexually motivated comment can be easily blurred, depending on the man’s gestures, intentions, body language, and attitude.

Flirting, often perceived as a playful and jovial act, is a source of joy and excitement. It ignites attraction and fosters connection through enjoyable communication, making it a fascinating and thrilling aspect of human interaction.

Flirting, with its undercurrents, serves as a mirror to an individual’s psychological and biological instincts, as well as the cultural norms they adhere to. Understanding these factors can provide a deeper insight into the complexities of human interaction, shedding light on the influence of societal norms on our perceptions of flirting with others.

I was once punished in school for complimenting my classmate on her cute white skirt. The girl took offence at the genuine praise, which she interpreted as flirting, and it rubbed her the wrong way, prompting her to complain to the teacher.

With the evolution of human connections and relationships, language and social gestures, such as meaningful glances and smiles, also began to take shape. The signs of complimenting and praising were categorised by their healthy actions and also sexually oriented intentions. Thus, Flirting—a playful, exciting action that sparks meaningful bonds- came into being.

The entire animal kingdom operates on the principle that males attempt to flirt with their female counterparts, wooing them with histrionics and gestures to establish contact. From a biological perspective, flirting is linked to reproduction and to the survival of the species.

Flirting is enchanting when both partners enjoy the rhythm with energy, playfulness, and mutual attraction. However, it becomes toxic and abusive when someone is trying to gain control for negative ulterior motives. This can lead to a culture of fear and mistrust, which in turn impacts overall social dynamics.

Thousands of girls and young ladies undergo the torture of unwanted taunts, gesticulations and comments while travelling in locals, in schools, colleges and at work. These are not positive expressions but reveal the animal instincts and mental derangements of the people. Delving into their psychological details reveals a battered childhood and disturbed youth.

Types of Flirting —

*Healthy flirting – It ensures respect and helps uplift moods and attitudes. With mutual attraction, there is a genuine and respectful intention for a pure connection. There is an influx of positive energy, creating a comfortable atmosphere rather than mental or emotional pressure.

There is clarity of thought and genuineness in the mutual compliments, touch, and eye contact. Mutual attraction and yearning are enhanced by playful teasing.

In healthy flirting, respect for cues and boundaries is paramount. The acceptance of silent withdrawal when there is disinterest or detestation builds confidence, leading to openness and trust.

*Manipulative flirting – The person tries to gain control by forging malicious intentions and attempts to validate their stance without genuineness and trust. Energy is infused into hooking the person for personal gain without clarity.

People might employ gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where they deny or distort the truth to make the other person doubt their own perceptions and reality and ignore the discomfort they are causing by instilling a nasty feeling of guilt and jealousy. This leads to the smothering of self-esteem, creating dependency and emotional drain.

Avinash had a bad habit of excessively praising and falsely complimenting his friends for their delectable cooking, lifestyle, and attire. The irony was that immediately behind their backs, he would mock and condemn what he had just said. He admitted to using his tactics to make the person feel good. Such flirting becomes a habit unconsciously, and the person uses it as a tool for social favours.

Flirting can become a nuisance and should be avoided if it interferes with relationships, professionalism, or personal peace.

To stop flirting, you should follow–

*Self-validation – Question yourself– Why do I flirt? Is it my habit to constantly praise and compliment the people around me? Is it out of genuine praise, or do I have a motive behind that?

*Set boundaries – Try to control physical gesticulation, playful touching and try to indulge in mindful, meaningful and neutral conversation, through positive eye contact. Try infusing honesty, confidence and trust into your conversations. Let the other person admire your presence and appreciate your candidness. Shift from personal charm to neutral appreciation.

*Proper utilisation of energy – Instead of wasting time and energy in manipulating and creating false notions, try to encourage genuine and candid humour, curiosity, revealing kindness and empathy. Replace suggestive teasing with light encouragement. Smile naturally, not suggestively.

*Be vigilant – Avoid situations where flirting gets triggered. Observe the person’s mood and attitude before engaging in a conversation. Focus on the topic and shun personal romance. Remember the dos and don’ts – avoid leaning too close and maintain a relaxed but professional posture.

* Avoid boot lickers – Try to understand your values by validating your own intellect. Shun people who engage in bootlicking and praise you unnecessarily. These people are highly manipulative and flirt with your emotions. Stop getting carried away and fathom your own worth.

*Seek accountability – Be accountable to people you trust who can guide and mentor you when you slip into flirting. An outside perspective may sometimes help mirror your hidden patterns.

“Keep the kindness – Drop seduction.” You will still come across a charming person, but without crossing into flirting.

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