LEARN TO ‘UNLOVE’ – Ignore whoever ignores you.

The teaching – ‘love everyone’ is a spiritual notion and ideal. Loving others with compassion, patience, and empathy is a moral principle we were taught from a very young age. It connects us to a higher purpose and a shared humanity.

Real life, however, reveals a story altogether different. We come across people and situations from which we want to wriggle out and say—”UNLOVE them”. It is a harsh and powerful lesson, learning to unlove or ignore when ignored.

What if a relationship becomes toxic, trust is broken, or you realise that you gave more than you could sustain?

It is not out of hatred or detestation, but rather a matter of detachment. You stop pouring emotional energy into someone who harms or drains you, realising the importance of protecting your emotional boundaries. This is a powerful act of self-respect, empowering you to wish them well from a distance and keep your heart safe from hurt and denial.  Self-respect is about valuing your worth and not allowing others to mistreat you. This understanding empowers you to move on without waiting for someone who chooses to avoid talking to you to initiate contact.

We often encounter people who ignore or overlook us. They want their ego to be massaged, so they start disregarding. In situations like this, don’t give up, in the face of patronising ridicule, amused disdain, or being ignored. The ironic truth is that those who ignore you now will somehow need you later.

The moment you feel that your presence is not acknowledged, or your absence is not missed, it is time to give it some serious thought. The ignoring begins quietly without anger, and there is silent acceptance. The stage arrives when you stop reaching out, stop explaining, and stop showing up. You become emotionally numb and stop responding at all. A silent syllable reverberates in your mind – ‘you deserve better’.

Choosing to ignore is not an act of anger or spite, but rather a pursuit of mental and emotional peace. It’s a way to protect yourself from emotional abuse or manipulation. Chasing after someone indifferent to you only depletes your emotional reserves. Love is a mutual feeling, and there’s no room for one person to beg for the relationship. You let go of love, not because you wanted to, but because you were left with no choice, and you wanted to sustain your sanity.

Being ignored by someone hurts a lot because, in a way, the need for belonging is threatened, and feeling rejected leads to sleepless nights and restless days. In extreme cases, mental control and logic are grossly compromised. Somewhere deep down, there is a disturbed childhood or unmet emotional needs that surface and bleed through the closed wounds once again. The self-esteem nose dives, causing anxiety, depression, or acute sadness. This social withdrawal often leads to feelings of anger and frustration.

Every person may sometimes feel ignored in family, workplace, relationships, and love life. It is challenging to cope with this.

SEVEN WAYS TO COPE UP –

*Acceptance and emotional reception—To accept a calamity or disaster gracefully is the best option. Nothing is permanent in this world. So are relationships and situations.  Reflect positively without blaming, even if the damage is profound.

*Feel the agony – Take the pain from your heart and psyche and find a remedy without burying, postponing, or disregarding it.

*Withdraw gracefully – With no ill feelings or abuse, pardon the person in your heart. This will nurture your sanity. Seek support from a confidante and define your boundaries to avoid any further emotional trespassing.

*Focus on self-worth – You are far more worthy than the person ignoring you. Regain and reclaim your lost mental energy and make a fresh start with a clear and positive perspective.

*Redo the narrative and rewrite the story – Boost your morale and consider yourself to be much superior and active than the ignorer. Ingrain your sagging mind with thoughts of supremacy and arrogance, if needed.

*Take a lesson – Every episode, relationship, or situation teaches you something. Please take it as a privilege to find yourself by creating your own mystery. Just relax and don’t stiffen your intellect. Being ignored by someone you love is a cruel reminder of your standing in their eyes.

*Time is the best healer – Everything in life happens for a reason. ‘Change is the only thing that is constant.’ Times will change, and the wound will heal for good. Just have patience and take time to calm down. ‘No response is a powerful response.’ I love it when people think they are going to punish me by not talking to me.

“One day, you’re going to realize that some people just aren’t meant to stay in your life, even if you pictured forever with them — even if it hurts like hell to let them go. You can love someone deeply and still realize they’re not good for you. You don’t have to keep proving your worth to be loved. You never did stop giving people full access to you when they don’t know how to treat you right. That’s not protecting your heart; that’s honouring it. If they took your love for granted, that’s on them. You gave everything because that’s who you are. That was never a weakness– it was love, real love. But love alone isn’t enough when it costs you your peace. You deserve to feel safe, chosen, and respected without having to beg for it. It’s time to choose peace over attachment, to stop chasing people who never saw your value. To forgive yourself for holding on so long.” UNKNOWN. Let go of the ones who couldn’t stay, so the right ones finally can.

Unloving is not bitterness – It’s hearing your voice – “YOU DESERVE SOMETHING MORE AND BETTER.”

“Distance is the only answer to disrespect — Don’t react — Don’t argue– Don’t get involved in drama — SIMPLY REMOVE YOUR PRESENCE.”

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