THE EXISTENCE OF SOME PEOPLE TELLS US – WHAT to avoid and WHO to avoid.
I was recently attending a condolence meeting. A guy sitting next to me constantly ogled and gave me weird looks. In the tedious ordeal of sitting for an hour, that guy farted at least half a dozen times, making the entire ambience obnoxious. Don’t we want to throw such people off the premises? Don’t we desperately want to avoid them?
In life, people who are related to us or who are known to us sometimes need a cold shoulder. The existence of such people in our domain is deeply detested, and we want to avoid them.
Mind you, avoiding certain people for your mental and emotional health is certainly not a weakness; IT’S WISDOM.
There is a thin line between AVOIDING and IGNORING.
Avoiding — when you avert yourself from meeting somebody.
Ignoring – when the person is there, but you are not paying attention.
The biggest challenge in avoiding and ignoring comes when dealing with relationships, friendships and Love.
To encounter the sourness of avoiding or being avoided – similarly ignoring or being ignored, creates mayhem in life and requires caution and assurance in dealings.
“To avoid and ignore someone may be easy – but to be avoided and ignored by someone is painful and emotionally hard-hitting.” It is better to be loved than hated – and so it is better to be hated than ignored.
How do you feel when the person you love starts avoiding you? But, friends, the pain is even more excruciating and heart-wrenching when you have to avoid the person you love. At some stage, the existence of Love might briefly become agonizing and force one to avoid the person. You can avoid reality, but can you avoid the penalties of evading reality?
At times we invite toxicity by becoming friendly with unworthy people. Is it the fear of impending loneliness that compels us to make bad choices? People join clubs and kitties hoping to revitalize their emotions and quench societal thirst. They are, however, exposed to weirdness like a viral infection and don’t know what ailment they are bringing home. Such people become a menace in the later stages, and then we urge to avoid them. “You shouldn’t drink poison just because you are thirsty.” With age comes maturity and the essence of comprehending the gravity and sanctity of relationships.
As a kid, I used to consider everyone my best friend. Youthful times nurtured the sense of making better choices and building a steep pyramid of alliances. Reaching seniority, I realized that the options narrowed down to just two or one, or ironically none at all.
“The best option is to make friends with yourself, your soul — a true friend. You can’t avoid yourself.” It’s you who has the power and inclination to boost and uplift your moods on rainy days. A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. Your soul intervenes with a gut feeling.
How to rely on people who are like pennies—two-faced and worthless?
Pay attention because there will be situations and instances when fake people around you will be exposed. Make your choices wisely, people may motivate or drain you. They are a selfish breed and will ignore you blatantly until they wag their hidden tails because of their egotistical needs.
I don’t preach that everybody is wrong. Some are inherently nice, but what to do? Somehow, they are not pleasant for us. Depending on the power of our mental logic and needs, we have to make stern pronouncements and let go of such people. Trust me; it is not an act of cruelty or perceived malice, but it is called SELF-CARE and SELF-RESPECT.
“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast. A wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.” BUDDHA.
Who to avoid? – Who to ignore?
*One who messes up and screws your thought process and rubs you the wrong way. Drains you by playing a blame game, making you feel guilty for what you did.
*One who repetitively and intentionally disappoints you and belittles your notions in front of others. Challenges your every diction and statement.
*One who has set priorities for you as an option but wants first priority in your life and routine.
*One who is Mr Perfect and never commits any mistakes or blunders, hence, NOT SORRY. Can’t and won’t sincerely apologize.
*One who is a gossiper and can take off your clothes in public to exemplify the world of whatever you have.
The irony is that people are smart enough to notice the change in your attitude towards them. They will, however, never comprehend that it is their brashness and behaviour that caused you to change your perspective. “If I decide to give up on you—you need to understand that it took everything that was left inside of me to leave you alone.”
The biggest thing is self-respect. Never run back to the person who broke you to smithereens and made you suffer. No matter how you handle the situation, just avoid it. Don’t overthink the loss or the problem. Overthinking is an addiction, so, avoid it too.
Make this a principle of your life – ‘Take one step towards me, and I’ll take a hundred towards you – you walk an inch away, and I retreat for thousands of miles.’
“I am honestly not mad at anyone for anything they ever did to me. You showed me you — I needed that.”
The best lines . . .
ONCE YOU FEEL AVOIDED BY SOMEONE, NEVER DISTURB THEM AGAIN!