Life & Love,Relationships

SPACE — More significant than the Galaxies — Space between RELATIONSHIPS


We all know about the Big Bang Theory. I often wonder: what if there were no space between the orbiting heavenly bodies? They would collide and pulverise each other, causing demolition and splintering into smithereens.

The Creator, I am sure, had plans for providing infinite space for the sustenance of the endless universe. Thus, it has sustained billions of years of orbital picnicking in harmony.

What happens to the Earthly Bodies?


Why do we fail to appreciate the value of Space in our relationships?

Relationships are like sand; the more you try to squeeze in the palm, the more it tends to slip away.

“I need some space away from you so I can love myself more and so that I can love you better.”

Some might take this as a paradox.

 Why would you need Space from someone you love dearly and who is your soul mate?

*Loving someone doesn’t give you the right to own them.

*If someone needs Space give it to them If you don’t, you will grow closer to the person, but he will grow away from you.

*Sometimes you need Catharsis, a solid need to create Space, to Soul-search, Recover, Ponder, Heal and just BE YOURSELF.

* Taking a break can be the most beautiful thing that can happen to the longevity of a relationship.

*If a person is meant to be in your life, then all the open doors and windows in the world will not make them leave.

It’s better at times to love the people from a distance and give them enough Space, Understanding and Time to get their psyche and spirits right before we let them enter the domains of our lives and affections.

“The soul needs more space than the body.” AXEL MUNTHE.


There is a difference between providing Space to someone and looking for Space in someone’s life.

Space is provided to you give room for a relationship.

Space is what you look for when you want to enter a person’s life.

Never force someone to make Space in their life for you because if they know your worth and emotional needs, they will indeed create one for you. They will accept you with respect and grace. Such a relationship would have a decent shelf life.

Nothing is more important than self-respect and dignity.

No relationship in this world can guarantee a problem-free life. Providing Space gives confidence and an attitude to tackle the situation more rationally and logically.

Relations are not great because they don’t have any problems. They are great because both care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work. It is a combined effort and chilled out attitude that makes it the pinnacle of scale.

Most of the time, what people are going through has nothing to do with us. We constantly pester and interfere in the troubled waters, looking for haven islands. It is better to step back and give Space.

Space can also fix and heal a crumbling relationship that’s going through hard times because of a lack of individuality. Spending time apart can blow away the oxygen and make the gasping relationship healthier and more joyful. It gives everyone a chance to reconnect and rediscover their values and desires.

Imagine your computer or cell phone hanging up because of constant irrational input. You ‘switch off’ the gadget for a while and then ‘restart’ it. Everything falls back right, most of the time. Something similar  works in relationships as well.

I have always prophesied that communication is essential in a sagging and stagnant relationship. This is vital, no doubt, but SILENCE for a while is equally important. When nothing seems to be working in a relationship, it’s better to take time off and sit under a willow tree with a glass of red wine and ponder over the cult of rejuvenation and survival.

You listen better when you are not talking. Silence makes hearing and understanding healthier.

The mind works well when the windows of all sense organs are shut off. Thoughts simmer and analyse better over the podium of SPACE.


“When I am silent, I have a thunder hidden inside me. RUMI.







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  1. Well written. We all need space .

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Thank you sir for the appreciation. true, we all do need space.

  2. Harsh says:

    Dr.Anuj , I like your analysis on the need of space to create a balance between intimacy and independence in a healthy relationship.
    I draw another analogy.
    Almost all matter in the universe is concentrated within the atomic nuclei.
    To hold every nucleus together a strong “nuclear force ” exists between the particles inside it. This is stronger than the electrostatic force already existing. This nuclear force pulls the nuclear particles together when distance between them increases, and pushes them away when they come very close. That is how the strong force works to hold the building blocks of matter together.

    . In fact, ..there’s a particular separation distance between the protons that’s ideal and to be maintained or else it will get destroyed instantly.(by radioactivity) and becomes a completely different matter.
    Relation with the external world also work like this, with an ideal separation distance. What I mean is getting too close with the worldly beings, be humans or anything else causes dependency that may lead to self destruction. Going away from them helps in self realization. And we get nearer to our deeper being. Its extraordinary how near we are, just a thought away. All the imaginary insecurities just vanish, like what you say puts us back to factory settings. That is indeed a great healer in terms of physical and mental health.

  3. […] love in the gullet of a person who is already tummy full of our over-shielding and indulgence. Providing space in a relationship is almost like Detachment. We need to live gracefully, and Detachment allows us to be in the world, […]

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      very true friend. I feel that providing space in relationships is not exactly detachment. regards

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