Culture,Life & Love


Life is suffering, they say. My INSIGHT is whether I want to live happily or fashion a miserable life. The situations and circumstances will vary for good or bad. It is in my hands to become a meagre ‘Slave’ or a ‘Master’ to the circumstances. I must understand that I am the architect, organiser, and master, not an enslaved individual.


The word slavery brings jitters as we relate ourselves to the colonial times when millions of us were mastered by a bunch of white-skinned goons who had the motto of divide and rule. They dominated us physically and even more pathetically — emotionally and mentally. This happened because we let them do it out of generosity and feebleness. For generations, our mentality and thinking have been shoved into the domains of suppression and oppression – we ultimately lost the meaning of being the masters of our lives and accepted slavery as our fate.

Slavery becomes a habit, a personality – an enslaved person remains caged even if the situation is congenial and emotionally affable. Instead, a free-willed man masters the art of dealing with and enjoying freedom like a bird, even when stricken by harm and misery. He leads an unhindered life based on choices and rational preferences.

As a child, I was intrigued by a family of domestic help who served for generations at my grandparent’s place. Why hadn’t anyone from that family tried or even wanted to change the tag and do something else besides cleaning the utensils, mopping the floor, or blowing out the ‘Choolah’?

This is an acceptance of slavery by choice and enforced contentment.

Is this about physical slavery and mastery only?


What about slavery and oppression in LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS?

Lovers feel oppressed and emotionally fraught when their paramours try to lynch them mentally due to their moods and derogatory temperaments. The more dependence and clinginess one favours, the more emotional slavery is experienced. Hundreds of weeping and bleeding hearts land at the psychiatrist’s doorstep to heal their raw wounds from being rampantly smashed by their master lovers.

The sufferer wilfully hands over his sentiment’s mane into his lover’s hands and suffers a masterstroke of emotional sadism. Who is at fault? Indeed, not the master.

A feeling of guilt and gaslighting is infused in the sufferer’s psyche, leading to a complete breakdown of self-trust and self-worth. A vicious cycle ensues.

No matter what happens, self-respect must never be compromised. My mother used to be very upset when I would call the sweeper –– ‘Jamadaar’ or the domestic help– ‘Naukar.’ She would scold me. “Don’t they have a name? … they have self-respect after all.” I carried those childhood sermons to maturity, and today, my children treat them with affection and respect.

Taking risks in life certifies a visa for your freedom– to mastery.


‘The rule of NOTHING’

A person who risks nothing—does nothing – has nothing — Is nothing, and eventually becomes NOTHING.

Do not forfeit your freedom at any cost or emotional behest. Break the shackles of the false belief in slavery and duly embrace growth and love.

The circumstances keep changing. One must master the art of getting through these troubled waters. Practising calmness and patience leads to solutions, even in turbulent situations. Mastering oneself is mightier than mastering others.

The worst kind of slavery is – to be enslaved by yourself.

A series of absurd logic chains you to your convictions and judgements. A jilted lover thinks that it is the end of the world. . . A cancer patient feels that he will die soon . . . Failure at exams instigates suicidal tendencies in a student, etc. We become enslaved by our critical emotions. We label ourselves as losers – ostracised by the conditions and people around us.

A person who has mastered the art of eluding emotional entrapment moves on from an uncanny relationship — buckles himself to face another exam —  fights his cancer, and survives through the ‘Power of his subconscious mind.’

You have no control over what might happen to you—but you can control your attitude towards what happens in your life. You have the aptitude and power to master a change rather than consenting it to master you.

Those who practice the art of SILENCE can master anything and everything. Silence comes from within – it does not mean not talking or doing anything. Silence shows that we are not disturbed and not enslaved by negative thoughts. It fixes us mentally by mastering the situation. Turbulence comes when we focus on others’ lives and problems – more gratifying is to focus on our own lives and conquer our own battles.

Remember, life does not throw us into the fire – We ARE in the fire. So, choose – do you want to be a Slave or the Master to the circumstances?


Quote of the Day – “One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels.”



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  1. Janice says:

    A very soulful writeup. I must say that whatever is mentioned is perfect and the reality of the lives most of us are living today.
    Forever conscious of the negatives rather than the positives.
    Excellent 👌👍

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Thank you so much Janice for the feedback. Yes, the reality is that we all are leading the life of a slave, somewhere or the other. The need is to become the master. At least now, when we see the evening.

  2. Ashok Kumar Ojha says:

    The blog “Slave or a Master” to circumstances -who are you…has been scripted nicely with apt illustrations.Both type of people whether a slave or a master are dependent entirely on mind set.. It is not that suddenly one becomes a master or a slave.Circumstances lead to their origin.It is true that we were ruled by Colonial powers over generations. Divide and rule was their motto that led to a creation of two different class. Many instances are available in the history when a weak and frail person was subjected to atrocities of Landlords or British officers.But no one came to his or her help and extend an alm. An aggrieved person was continuously subjected to atrocities by Britishers.. The grief at times became manifold when sycophants Indian landlords just to grease their colonial bosses traumatise them of and on on miniscule mistakes.. The infliction of atrocity coupled with misery of the aggrieved can be gauged in the films like Ganga Jamuna and Mother India.It’s seen that a fear of slavery slowly started creeping in the mindset of Indians and it was percolated down the line to the weakest…State of misery of melancholy was passed on from generation to generation.A meek surrender became a way of life. Gradually, when the nation became independent, self confidence amongst indians started developing and that gave birth to an era of people with masterly trait.. Now, one can speak loud and clear whatever one has to say. A trait christened to be a Master denoted a slew of confidence building endeavors and mannerisms.Subsequently, in any domain of life, a person whether he is a professor, or a scientist, or a doctor, or a leader or a business man can now climb up a ladder of success and become a master on his own. It wad by sheer diligence and hard work. At times, a child coming from a poor family, may not look dominant in the class, but his sheer power of intelligence, his sharpness to learn things, his mannerism or his presence of mind can take him apart from others and mould him into a brand of masters. Even I used to be a very shy and introvert during school days. A proper exposure and guidance at right time can make the difference. One has to excel to come to the top and become a master on his own. So a slavery is a term synonym to frailty, suppression, subduedness, lack of confidence where as a master signifies a class of persons who are confident, have guts to call a spade a spade and have the ability to overcome challenges at any point of time.. Too good Dr Anuj..

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Dear Ashok Bhai,
      Your write up is a blog in itself. You have so beautifully compiled your thoughts regarding slavery and oppression. You are right, it’s the attitude and perception of an individual that makes him a slave or the master. Nothing travels in genes. This is how we turn the tables in our lives. It is a journey, and we all need to decide for ourselves in which direction we need to take it, choosing the correct path. Destination may be the same but the means to achieve it varies from person to person.
      Thank you so much for the feedback.

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