Life & Love,Relationships

Sexuality & Love Making – The Enigma

God bestowed upon the LIVING [animal] WORLD three basic instincts – FOOD, for survival- SHELTER, for protection, and SEX, for procreation.

The animals imbibed their instincts in a better way by performing them unrestrained and uncontrolled. Have you ever seen an animal hiding to accomplish sex? NO! They perform in herds, in front of their clan, as if taking a regular bite at the kill.


If we try to delve in the history of the HOMOSAPIEN and their evolution, we may hypothesize [ as there is no proof], since when the humans start covering their private parts. There is no evidence to prove this; everything is ambiguous and obscure.

Our ancestors, Gorillas and Monkeys for sure still roam naked. Did the Cromaganon and Neanderthal man start covering themselves?

Why humans thought of hiding their sexuality? Why did the exposition of Penis and Vagina become a matter of shame and obscenity? Since when the act of Sexual intercourse becomes a hidden event?… Friends, trust me, I tried my best to surf and google but could not find the answer.

The hypothesis goes that since the ancient man was Polygamous; to avoid jealousy amongst the female clan who were catered to one man, sex was performed in privacy so that there was no fight amongst them.

Again the question arises,

Since when the SEX become an act of Satan or a Heinous crime or a Taboo? Since when the parents started to hide their sexuality from their children? Or why do they shy away from educating them about sex?

This confusion has indeed propped from the enigmas and confusion created by our Religion and Beliefs.

The Religious views range widely from giving sex and sexuality a rather negative connotation to believing that sex is a higher expression of the Divine. Sexual Restriction is one of the universals of culture peculiar to all Human societies and religion.

Religion strongly emphasizes the concept of Conservatism, Decency and Modesty; besides the lawful sexuality, priority is given to chastity and virtue both inside and outside the marital relationships.

In Hinduism; Shiva and Parvati are often portrayed as romantic lovers and are represented through LINGAM and YONI, which are symbolic of male and female sexuality. From the period of Mohenjodero and Harappa, people visit the DEITY with their children and sprinkle milk on the Linga Yoni with reverence and without shame. [Why this confusion? My baby daughter once asked me the meaning of this sculpture; I had no answer.]

HOWEVER, Ancient view of SEX is entirely opposite from ours today.


A sacrosanct ceremony or sacred marriage. This dates to more than 2000 years.

Heiros gamos was a spiritual act [nothing to do with Eroticism] performed repeatedly by the Egyptian Priest and Priestess to celebrate the reproductive power of females. Female sexuality or the Sacred Feminine was the gift of God, and the man was incomplete without its knowledge or experience.

The man achieved ‘Gnosis’- knowledge of the Divine through sexual contact. By communing, man acquires a CLIMACTIC instant when the mind goes totally blank. A brief mental vacuum is envisioned. It is the moment of clarity during which the man stands visa vis to GOD. The sexual intercourse is the revered union of the two halves of the human spirit- male and female.

The religion in Ancient times revered SEX as the most pious and sacred act. Female was the Divinity because she was bestowed with the power to give birth to another LIFE.

Male climactic and Female Orgasm was considered the ultimate prayer—a state of complete meditation and melting in the divine juices of love and possessiveness. Sex begot new life- the ultimate miracle- and miracles could be performed only by GOD.

‘Next time you find yourself with a woman, look in your heart and see if you cannot approach sex as a mystical, spiritual act. Challenge yourself to find that spark of divinity that man can only achieve through the union with the sacred feminine.’… DAN BROWN

Meditational Gurus achieved similar state [the climactic or orgasm] of thoughtfulness without SEX and often described Nirvana as a never-ending spiritual orgasm.

‘Sex is the starting point of all journeys to love. Evolution of love is nothing but transformed sex energy… Humans cannot be separated from sex. Sex is the primary point of one’s life; one is born out of it.’…OSHO

A sacred relationship is a relationship in which we are inspired to see the Divine in another person, to experience oneness through the union of two. Sacredness is felt experience. It’s knowing deep within, a knowing of who you really are.

Why is sex sacred?

‘Sacred’ word comes from the Latin, sacra meaning “sacred, holy, consecrated,” that is, blessed or revered. The noun [singular] is SACRUM, meaning “a holy thing or place.”

The sacrum is the triangular and the strongest bone that shields the most delicate and revered part, the UTERUS [The Temple of Life]. The tough Pelvic bones fortify it. In the Human body, only the brain, heart and the GENITALIA are protected by the tough bony cages. Just like the Deity seated in the Sanctorum of the place of Worship.

‘Sex has a role in accessing peak experiences of love, oneness, and healing. Humans have an innate need for peak experiences of bliss, merging, and ecstasy. There is a deep longing for the union of sex and spirit, for the union with the Divine. ‘. . . DEBORAH ANAPOL

The man had his first-ever glimpse of Samadhi, of meditation, in moments of lovemaking- nowhere else. It was only then; humans realise for the first time that so much bliss was possible.

But, the experience of lovemaking and the ultimate bliss in the climax is only for a limited period because it is the dissipation and release of energy. But how about staying in the state of joy forever, experiencing the meditational continuity.

Unfortunately, after the earthy sexual release, what remains is an URGE, an OBSESSION, and a MAD WAITING to regain that experience.

Whole life goes by, and that divine experience becomes only momentary. Mind yearns for that glimpse and wants to grasp it again. But it is so transitory that we have scarcely had it and it disappears. It doesn’t even leave behind the clear memory of itself as to what it was. Only the thought lingers, and the fragrance of the juices stand as the testimony of the act. Man envisages and quests throughout life to get that bliss again and again, no matter how and with whom.


Orgasm and Male climactic is the significant peak of sexual excitement where comes a feeling of physical pleasure and sensation, which includes a discharge of accumulated erotic tension.

A series of rhythmic contractions all over the sexuality takes place, and the entire body goes in an ecstatic beat. There is a sudden release of Endorphins controlled by the involuntary or autonomic nervous system.

The period after the orgasm is called the Refractory Period. It is often the releasing experience attributed to the secretion of the Neuro hormones Oxytocin and Prolactin.

In the moments of orgasm, one experiences two elements: TIMELESSNESS and EGOLESS-NESS. Hence the glimpse of one’s life. At that moment, the person, time, the place doesn’t matter; it is just the ecstasy and the inner journey: short-lived and temporary travel.


LEVEL ONE . . . Just sexual intercourse as a mundane process. Regardless of the expression and the endeavour to honour the need of the partner. A mere Spinal pleasure. Like in most marriages or long stretched relationships. An exceptionally short-lived journey that ends even before it begins. A state of confusion may follow: was it even needed? May be associated with the Infidelity of mind—a physical and mental dissociation. Execution with someone while imagining someone else.

LEVEL TWO . . . Sex with Gratification and Climactic. There is a proper release with mutual admiration and adoration. There are gratefulness and enjoyment that goes through the domains of Pre, Inter and After fulfillment. The pleasure is prolonged with a want to be in that state for a longer time. There are longing and love. The verbal adulation is superseded by visual satisfaction. The sense of totality and completeness to submission. The condition that the psyche NEEDS, not WANTS. The male and the female scale the pinnacle hand in hand, thus satisfying the emotional urge and necessity.

LEVEL THREE . . . Sex to Spirituality. Love to Super-consciousness. The physical proximity may not be there—the state of Nirvana or Meditation. A state which one person can experience and travel alone without the constraints of a partner, time or space. The feeling or climax is not for a short period. The sentiment is prolonged for unfathomable time and space. DEVOTION for the Deity.[ Like the love of MEERA for LORD KRISHNA .

‘We learn to Love from our Early Relationships with Parents and Caregivers. They help us to form a “love map” that persists throughout our lives. This is sometimes referred to as “Transference”. When we find a love object, we are actually “re-finding” it. Hence the often recognised phenomenon of individuals who select partners that remind them of their mother and father.’ . . . SIGMUND FREUD.

In the present scenario where everything seems to be running away in the mad rush of materialism and mundane pleasure, the meaning of the DIVINITY of sex is confused and misunderstood.

Sporadic and short-timed pleasure has lost the philosophy of true lovemaking. The satan of modernism is playing the piano of uncertainty, misleading the holiness of SEX to lust, carnal desire, perversions and CRIME.

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