Life & Love


Reverse psychology is the practice of delicately encouraging a behavior or belief by promoting its opposite. It is a method of getting someone to do what one wants by pretending to dislike it or want something else. People use it liberally by manipulating relationships and emotional alliances for ulterior motives.


Ashna told her father, “Dad, today is my music recitation in school – I want you to come, but I understand you have busy assignments and meetings, which may be difficult for you. – never mind, maybe next time.”

“Oh, I will try my best to come, dear.” The father replied.

Ashna had intelligently and smartly manipulated Reverse Psychology on her father.

Reverse Psychology is an effective practice that involves getting someone engrossed in the desired action by smartly suggesting the contradictory.

The father attended Ashna’s concert and stayed through the programme. Mission accomplished!

We must realise that we execute reverse psychology in our daily chores and relationships. The human mind manipulates and falsehoods to get going with motives and jobs. It is now a personality trait, and people thrive on it.

Reverse Psychology has a significant role to play in love and other relationships. It has its pitfalls, though.

*It clearly shows that the relationship is based on a fragile foundation of dishonesty and deceit.

*Trust is grossly breached, leading to falsehood and disbelief. When you change to soothe another person, you disrespect yourself.

*A trick or manipulation may backfire incorrectly, causing colossal destruction. It doesn’t work on someone who truly appreciates you.

*Manipulation has a short shelf life. Its viability soon gets compromised, and the motive gets exposed.

*In the process, the person loses his credibility and identity, hampering social and emotional growth. The tactics employed, however, move you further away from yourself.

*Playing the game of reverse psychology can become an obsession.


ADORNO and HORKHIEMER are known to have developed the theory of Reverse Psychology. – The person responds to the reverse of what they want. Knowing the limits of using the reverse psychology approach is not difficult. Caution is not to use it too often, and should be used only for things that create a greater good or benefit.

Reverse psychology plays a more significant role in parenting when dealing with complex and delinquent children. Councilors have a variety of options for anguished parents.

Begin by offering choices to the child. Do not serve sermons or accidental orders. Manipulating a child should be the last thing on the agenda. Be truthful and frank about anything and everything. The present generation is more intelligent than we think they are.

Challenging or attempting competitive handling may, however, help. For a slow and difficult-eating child, try this – “I can challenge you to finish this dish faster than you.” In a more manipulative mode, you have used reverse psychology on the child and made him eat the dish to your satisfaction.

The most exciting part of Reverse Psychology is trying it out on yourself.

I was driving to Delhi to meet a friend. The friend asked about the expected time of arrival. I knew I could reach Delhi in two hours, but I told him, “I hope that I will be able to reach it in approximately two and a half hours if everything goes well and the traffic situation is good.” I fed reverse psychology to my brain. I reached Delhi in one and a half hours.

While working on a project, if I feed my mind the usual excuses for delays or problems, the project is completed in record time. The psychology behind wanting to prove something wrong is that we want to employ control over a situation.

If you tell someone – “Hey, you can do anything”, – that person will not know what to do.

If you tell somebody – “Hey, you can’t do this job.” – the person will know exactly what to do and will do the job.


A poem on Reverse Psychology. —

“Say ‘no’ to hear a ‘yes’,

Turn away to be kissed,

Hate to be loved,

Love to be hated,

If only it would not feel reverse to the heart,

You end up laughing while crying,

And laughing when you are crying.”











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  1. Janice D'Cunha says:

    Beautifully expressed. Crystal clear.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Thank you so much.

  2. Dr Ashok Kumar Ojha says:

    The blog-Reverse Psychology -An Enigma or a fact is scripted beautifully. In the blog, citing an example of a girl asking her father not to come to the music recitation on account of his busy schedule, indicate her care for her father.. She thinks that unnecessarily he will come at the cost of his important work. She knows that as he remains busy, it may not be possible for him to attend the programme. Her innate desire wants that being a father he would love to watch the music recitation.Nevertheless, her reverse psychology has come into play with no ulterior motive.Consequently, she desired that if he is too busy, he could avoid…
    If is the intention of a purpose that’s to be ascertained. If it is malafide, the concept of reverse psychology is attributable.. However, reverse psychology is exposed in the long run.. One day or the other, it becomes talk of the town..Those who are in the habit of befooling others, reverse psychology is exposed sooner than later.A friend of mine would always play reverse psychology many a times.He used to see or know that we are not at our residence.Then on meeting he would say that we came to your house and the house was locked.His reverse psychology was exposed when many of my other friends would also say the same thing.So, a habit of dodging or befooling others doesn’t lasts long.. One day or the other it’s known to all.. One should remain what he or she is.. Yes, for parenting a complex or a delinquent child, application of a reverse psychology is fine. It’s for the welfare of the child.. Too good DrAnuj.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Loved reading your elaborate views on reverse psychology. We can quote several examples from our daily life. People play their games applying RP in different ways. A bad habit is bound to be exposed sooner or later.
      Thanks for your write up.

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