Life & Love,Relationships

PEOPLE FROM MY PAST KNOW MY VERSION – That no longer exists. Ways to grow out of the PAST. 


 Is growth an enigma? Is growth a sacrilege? Growth is the soul of nature and life — So is the growth of emotions, binding people to accomplish spiritual and passionate maturity. Is it my fault that my past didn’t grow and kept lynching me and pulling me back? Is it my greatest triumph that I have come into harmony with my present?


The past can be a good friend but also a brutal enemy. It depends on our perception and the acuity that we deal with it. Past is a good ‘friend’ and a well-wisher, if it brings serenity and positivity, and an ‘enemy’ if it deters the person’s growth and clutches his emotional sanctity and thinking.

Meeting people straight from the past after a reasonable gap may present a different scenario altogether. The train I boarded forty years ago carried a different person. I was an emotionally vulnerable, physically fragile, and logically weak, eighteen-year-old boy. My friend, Avi, who used to bully me, saw me off at the station. He fostered my friable image for all these years.

I met Avi a few years ago. He was stunned to see a changed version of me. The façade of my vulnerability was taken over by a firm foundation and edifice of accomplishments, confidence, and emotional poise. Confusion and bewilderment were evident on Avi’s face. He fired the cannons of his characteristically stupid and sarcastic remarks. But this time it was his turn to face the music as I responded in a very different and casual manner. No wonder, Avi was trying to exhume my past that he was familiar with. But I had moved on. He tried hard to deal with my now- transformed version. The meeting couldn’t breathe for long and collapsed in the waning oxygen of familiarity. I don’t think that we would put any effort in the future to meet each other.

A contented and happy TODAY will dissuade you from stepping back to YESTERDAY because there is nothing to regret. A weak TODAY pulls one back to the PAST and drenches itself with remorse.

Wasting our energies on shielding rather than growing our present emotional status thwarts our logical and emotive growth. The human mind houses a rich reservoir of positive emotions and sensitivities that thrive on growth, not on the dissolute journeys back to the past.

We live in a space between the positive stimulus of the unforeseen future and the mental response to our present. In this space, we thrive on emotional freedom and intellectual power.

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

Let the painful Past that you feel Today be the strength of your Tomorrow. Every challenge that you encounter bestows upon you an opening for Growth.

The past often strikes back like a demon on the lonely nights when sleep is evaded and emotions are fidgety. Human minds have the habit of pointlessly digging into and analyzing foregone events, bygone relationships, and faulty choices. When the eyes unreceptively open in the middle of the night, these demons molest the mental state leading to depression. The person starts questioning his present over the past.

Delving into the past and drawing sorrow and remorse from these unsolicited events is a nasty process.


*Learn to avoid.

Avoid people or situations that bring back doomed memories. Someone advised me to remove the pictures of the dead from the residential premises. I think there’s some validity to this. If I miss my parents then the loss is felt in my heart. Looking at the picture hanging on a distant wall will not bring any positivity for sure.

Visiting the places where I spent quality time with my estranged beloved will give me nothing but pain and jilt.

* Accept growth patterns.

Everything around you, including you, is growing. Each cell of the human body is replaced within a stipulated timeframe. In seven years, the entire physical structure will be replaced by brand-new cells. Don’t stagnate your emotions and intellect, just let them keep pace and move on. Growth may be slow at times. Don’t be afraid of the sluggish growth. Be afraid of standing still.

*Choose positive people for your kitty.

The world is loaded with a million species. Some people come to drain you of your cheerfulness. They discuss negative things and situations that have already pushed you into the back seat. They are a conceited brand that drags you down by denoting past lives or relationships. Anyone that encourages your intellectual, emotional, artistic or spiritual growth is worth keeping – Don’t let them go!. . “Wo Meharbaan Kal Ho Na Ho…”.

*Don’t Conceal Your Emotional Pain.

Revealing the emotional pain energises you, provided it is spilled onto the shoulder of the right person. Concealing the pain drags you back and reminisces about past events or the person that caused it. Accepting the pain is your greatest strength. That strength is the growth and the key to happiness and contentment.

*Let go of people and situations.

Avoid being vulnerable to the attitudes of the people around you. Sometimes people just move out of our lives without even knowing or noticing. The everyday thoughts, the wait for a phone call or message, and weekend fiestas are lost. You gradually move on, without worrying about them. You stop expecting an apology for the uncalled absence. There should be an acceptance that they are no longer a part of your life. You should just let them go, simple as that.

*Indulge in your passions and hobbies.

When nothing works and you feel lonely and bored then the only thing that can pull you out of your doldrums and depressions is YOU — YOURSELF. People, friends and relatives may volunteer to help you. But truth is bitter and justified. You have an incredible vigour in fostering your hidden talents, passions and hobbies. They are the barriers to your past and will ensure a delightful today and a dazzling tomorrow.


GOOD things come to those who wait for the right time to grow. BETTER things will come to those who don’t give up at any stage. And the BEST thing comes from those who always believe in themselves. Such people grow and never look back.








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    Avery practical approach to past experiences indeed.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      thanks a lot dear.

  2. Dr Ashok Kumar Ojha says:

    The blog”People from my past know my version-That no longer exists. Ways to grow out of the past” seems to be an interesting article… Delving on past, at times, is very motivational and Inspiring.. We have grown up in an atmosphere of friends belonging to different strata as some of them had an environment of intellectuals at their homes. They succeedingly inherited a slew of qualities, like they were very good at English spoken language, mannerism and Etiquette as well.They even wore a decent outlook.. These traits normally affects one’s persona, particularly during teenager stage.. Such delightful past may tend to push us to move forward by drawing lessons from the past. At the same time, those who were mischief mongers, dull at studies and devoid of living a healthy lifestyle, no doubt, may impede anyone’s growth.It is better to get rid of such a past. I totally agree that anyone delving on past and carrying baggage of unwanted experiences should be dispensed with, the sooner the best.. It is always advisable to draw lessons from the past to make a solid pedestal for future.. In doing so, any alternation or modification required should be done in the present so that one may aspire for a brighter tomorrow.. Now coming to friends, anyone who’s a real well wisher would always desire that his friend should prosper albeit he may have failed miserably. Change is the law of nature. Evolution has taken place with gradual evolvement right from Protozoans to Mammals. So growth is very much essential for development of one’s career. And one should strive for it.. Beautiful article Dr Anuj.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      You know, I enjoy reading your feedback and your views more than I enjoy writing the article. You have such a clearity about whatever I write as if you know my mind. I am proud of you Ashok Bhai. Yes, you are right. We do have well wishers from our past who cherish our present. You are surely one of them. I love to communicate with you. Would love to meet you someday.
      Regards and much love

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