Culture,Life & Love

LIVING WITH ‘REGRETS’ or ‘GRATITUDE’ – What do we want?

Most of us live in yesteryear, making REGRET an influential tool. Our minds are relentlessly at work trying to question and analyse what we could/should have done differently. We ponder how others mistreated or victimized us. We curse our actions and our destiny for our wrongdoings.

GRATITUDE is a state of being thankful to the supreme and the concerned people for shaping us into what we are today. The foundation of gratitude is the expectation of nothing. Expectations rob one of joy, damaging relationships.

 

Regret and Gratitude are mental states or expressions separated by a thin line of Attitudes. A half-empty glass of water can draw two versions of the same thing– Some call it half-empty, and others call it half-full.

*I could not secure 98% marks in my Board exams, which can be an intense Regret because, silly me, I did not prepare well.

*Thank you, God; I secured 97% marks with my hard work, which is Gratitude.

Similarly, a man at the ripe age of seventy may fill his mind with regret for not achieving all that he envisaged – another man may be grateful that he did so well in life, with a good family, good health, and decent savings.

Regret is a silent emotion, as a person willingly avoids sharing negativity. The ego may empower his regret and make him sulk deeply. In the confession box of a church, a person spills out and releases regrets to an obscure audience. Regret is stirring the person’s soul to wish it could have been different.

But living a life of regret is no good. The human mind is bestowed with the ability to make the right decisions at the right time. How can an action taken at a particular moment in the past with total mental capacity be wronged after twenty years? There are always two sides to a coin. The best attitude is to forget the past and move on under the prevailing circumstances and intellect. Regretting and indulging in constant remorse is a personality trait. Such people survive the stench of their thoughts, shouldering their present status onto people and their past.

People regret today the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki – the dastardliest act taken in the history of humankind. But on August 6th, 1945, some white-collared bigwigs made that decision in their proper frame of mind. Of course – there is always one senseless blunder that changes everything.

How do you deal with regret? –

* Try to fully understand your folly.

*Regret is meaningful only if you can alter your conduct.

*Mercy is the best treatment. Forgive yourself.

*Find a genuine shoulder and cry out your regrets.

*Elucidate your morals with the help of regret.

Gratitude is the essence of virtuous, peaceful, and healthy living. It takes care of depression by smothering the anxiety with pain. A gratuitous person is loved and revered and builds strong and meaningful relationships. He focuses less on yesterday and more on today, which leads him to think less about what he might have decided differently in the past. Such people are immune to regrets.

Four aces of gratitude – Approval, Appreciation, Admiration and Attention.

People often show gratitude towards the dead, a lifeless body that understands no tears. Shedding sorrow and exhibiting remorse at a condolence meeting may be of value to the dead’s kith and kin but a futile exercise for the soul that is already far from reach.

The beauty and positivity of gratitude lies in forwarding it generously to the person who is alive.

“Love thrives on gratitude, while it chokes on regret.”

Upon my father’s death, I had a weird mix-up. I regret missing quality communication with him in his last years. To this day, guilt leaves me mentally uncomfortable and emotionally sore. I am gratuitous, however, for all the pain he took in shaping my career and life. I wish I could render my regret and gratitude to his live audibility and senses when he breathed his last into my lap on that fateful night.

 

“Thinking before acting is WISDOM – acting before thinking is REGRET – acting with clear intent and love is GRATITUDE.”

 

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6 Comments

  1. Dr Ashok Kumar Ojha says:

    The blog’ Living with regrets or gratitude-what do we want is something that is correlated with each other.. Infact a mistake or a blunder leads to the genesis of regrets. As you have rightly
    said that we do actions with involvement of our mind and soul. Even then, we come to realise at a later stage that a mistake or a blunder has been committed. It is one’s reasoning that arrives at the decision that one has committed mistake. So, it is prudent to accept it and regret. If we don’t do it, the baggage of mistake or blunder will linger on and may haunt our mind and soul for some time. So regret should be tendered as early as possible.. Now coming to gratitude, we should have the courage to acknowledge the good doing of others and tender gratitude also.. It never makes one inferior or tends to belittle his or her status. Rather, he or she is relieved of the good doing of that particular person.. We have been helped and obliged many a times by our friends, teachers and seniors.. In one way, tendering gratitude is a sort of blessing. So regrets and gratitude are required to be tendered as soon as possible..
    Nicely scripted Dr Anuj..

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Thanks a lot for the impeccable analysis of the topic. I, too, feel that regret and gratitude go hand in hand. Both carry importance in their ways. I felt regret and gratitude simultaneously on my father’s death.
      Regards.

  2. Rupa Gupta says:

    As diffentiated well told to cope up regret and transform to gratitude.
    It touched within 😊

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Thanks for your appreciation. Regards

  3. Dr.ASHA KUMAR RASTOGI says:

    A very informative article indeed. We do encounter regret and gratitude some time or the other in our lives but we have to go on while not allowing regret to take on the positivities.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Very correctly said dear. Thanks for the feedback.
      regards

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