Culture,Life & Love

LIVING WITH A REGRETS … do you have any?



To feel sorry that you did something or that you did not do something?


A feeling of sadness about something that cannot now be changed.

Someone rightly said, “Never regret anything that has happened in your life; it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on”.


Someone asked me … “Do you have any regrets in life?”

Honestly speaking, there are several issues and moments when I go crazy over my decisions. When asked, I was sure that I would be able to talk for hours over my set of regrets.

Trust me; when I pondered, there were none.

I don’t regret my becoming a Doctor: that is what I always wanted to be.

I don’t regret my marriage: the lady I married was my only choice without any pressure or interference.

I don’t regret denying Immigration to the United States of America: I am much better off in my country and have a decent life.

I don’t regret relationships and friendships that kept happening and ending at the right time.

I lived my passions to the fullest and am still kicking hard, learning more, and getting better at the older ones.

I have tried to be myself and have understood the definitions and dreams that I have had to follow and envisage.

I was never guided by … “Log Kya Kahenge?”


“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” SHANNON L. ALDER

Remember the movie ‘Three Idiots’: One of the boys says, “What the neighbour Sharma jee would say, doesn’t matter to me; he was not there to install AC in my room. What matters is, what I want to do.”

In the end, we only regretted the chances we didn’t take, and instead tried for something that was well within our reach, and we faltered along the way.


In a study, older people were asked about their regrets in life. Surprisingly, the regrets were only emotion and sentiment related; they were neither materialistic nor money-related.

*Spent too much time worrying over trivial issues and magnifying them to preposterous proportions.

*Restrained feelings and did not reveal the person who mattered and was loved.

*Cared too much about the man next door, and allowed him to interfere in my life and in his decision making.

*Did not follow passions, and killed desires on mundane pretexts.

*Did not enjoy the present; overthought the past and worried about the future.

*Was a coward and chickened out about taking risks.

*Did not share quality time with loved ones.


Not a single person lamented the lack of earnings from not travelling overseas or not being able to raise real estate.

Why is the emotional aspect so crucial in the last stages of life?

The question remains, why do we regret it? Something that can’t be changed now, needs to be forgotten.

We were not insane when we made our decisions earlier in life. Our mental status and intellect were not compromised and, in those circumstances, whatever we did was right and logical. What is the point of analysing past situations with the present state of mind? This leads to misery and frustration for no apparent reason.

Let the past be a bygone era.

They say, “learn from the misdeeds of the past to make the present and future a better place to live.”

Take the lesson with a positive and affirmative mindset and not regret it.

Remember the five ‘W’s…….

WHO you are, is what makes you unique? Do not change who you are. Nurture the individuality of your soul.

WHAT lies ahead is undoubtedly a mystery. Explore it with a positive mind without fear.

WHEN life pushes you over and gives you hard times, you push back even harder and are jubilant.

WHERE there are choices to make, trust your gut feelings and choose the path that you won’t regret, no matter what.

WHY things are happening is never a sure thing. Accept it with affirmation and happiness and move forward.



























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  1. Harsh Rao says:

    I liked your write up very much. “Live with applause, not with regrets”. That is how it should be ideally.
    It is true looking back on our lives, there will be many instances where we could have done things differently, but why regret as you put it logically “What is the point to analyse past situations with the present status of mind? This leads to misery and frustration for no reason.”

    Regrets will be there. I regret not reading bhagwad Gita at a younger age, there would have been more clarity done away with peer pressure.
    Thinking of the present society, I regret ignorance ,lack of information, self defeatist attitude of hindus, inferiority, media glorification of other cultures and civilisation. As a result the youth find no meaning, seek alien customs and ruin the nation and society. So the institution of Hindu householder’s life [gṛhasthâshrama] is in deep trouble. Grihasthâshrama is the central pillar of the society. It is from here that a strong society is built. Strong, ideal grihasthas, burning with the spirit of self-sacrifice, dedication to Truth, and inspired patriotism are the fuel, strength, heart and soul of any society. Sanctity of marriage has gone, it is trivialised. One of the most important institutions, the vital part of a householder’s life, is becoming an ” affair” as everything is considered just physical. Divorces or not marrying is becoming common.
    I regret, our intelligent youth may not have their progeny.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      I like your regret for not reading Bhagvat Geeta at a younger stage. you write so well, I wonder what you would have done if you had the knowledge of Geeta at that stage.
      Your analysis about the grihasthasharam and the knowledge of the youth in todays world is perfect.

  2. Reading Bhagwad Gita before passing school would have made be have a better clearer idea of what I ought to be and do.😊😊

  3. Taru Chhaya says:

    I am impressed by your truthful explanation regarding regrets and no regrets. Best lines to me are..

    “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, and not trying for something that was well in our reach, and we faltered in the way.”

    I feel it happens in everyone’s life but self analysis makes you stronger for better future.

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      thanks a lot taruchaya for your comments and take on the subject.You are right nothing like self analysis.

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