The joys in life depend not only on getting and achieving things — Feel the joy and happiness of deliberately and consciously avoiding certain situations, people, places and relationships – ‘The joy of missing out’, JOMO. This is undoubtedly a favourable situation, unlike the antonym FOMO – ‘Fear of missing out’.
During a brainstorming morning tea session with my daughter, Chinky, in our garden, I was intrigued by the term JOMO. She is an Origamist by profession and emanates decent content for my blog.
JOMO and FOMO have everything in common except for the words –‘Joy’ and ‘Fear’. Where Joy exudes positivity and bliss, Fear denotes psychological vulnerability and mental weakness.
A fearful person relies on external sources for his emotional and physical completeness. He is passionately feeble and cannot visualise the good or bad in life. He clings to people and situations, trying to seal his status as an essential commodity.
Have you ever experienced the JOY of missing out on certain people, situations or things? — The joy of intentionally choosing what to keep and what to give away. The joyous person feels contented with staying in and disconnecting as a form of self-care and self-respect.
In a pseudo-prevailing society where monetary flamboyance and ‘chewing the fat’ are rampant like a menace – how about preferring to be unavailable to the plethora of mental clutter and stay at home with your choicest passion? “To delight at the moment, to practice mindfulness.”
The prevailing social sites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter etc., have pushed individuals into the gutter of expectations, jealousy and nihilism. Indulging in the race to read ‘Likes’ and ‘Comments’ on others’ portfolios brings no joy but unnecessarily infuses a sense of self-destructing incompleteness and ambiguity. Why must you peep over your neighbour’s boundary wall to see what is happening there? Gawking is a trait that can make one suffer throughout life.
I suffered the worst juvenile FOMO when my mother dumped me at home and went to the movies with her friends. The film had some adult content that I wasn’t supposed to see. The kissing ritual was solemnised behind a bush or a tree back then.
Now, on the brighter side of my middle age, I am comfortable writing and making music instead of wasting three hours watching a stupid movie. This is my biggest JOMO. Despite persistence by the peer group, I decided not to watch the latest multi-crore blockbuster. I don’t think I missed anything – I earned joy. I won’t trade the pleasure of doing what I want and NOT worrying about what other people are doing or saying.
I hate people saying – ‘Oh Anuj, you missed yesterday’s party; it was so good – ‘You missed the event; it was one of its kind’ – ‘You missed the excursion tour; it was brilliant’. Etc.
Do we miss things in life? Does this missing business affect our life rhythm? The person poking you judges the event on his intellect; how can he be sure of your likes and dislikes?
The old saying goes — if you dilly-dally between eating and not eating, you shouldn’t eat. If you are indecisive about whether to go or not, you should go. There shouldn’t be a FOMO to mislead you – the JOMO should guide you.
Easing out your wardrobe by giving away clothes that you haven’t worn for months/years – Distributing the hoard of marriage sweets to your workers – Decluttering your premises is a JOMO of a different dimension.
How about missing out on some undesirable people in your vicinity or some mundane relationships that carry no meaning in your life? You often prefer turning your face over to Mr Chatterbox or Mrs Gossipy to save your skin from unintellectual torture. I detest people who bump into me during my morning walk and are forced to comment – “Doctor Sahab Aaj Bahut Der Say aye . . . Doctor Sahab Aaj Bahut Jaldi aa Gaye”. I love to change lanes or take a spin when such a character approaches me.
I love JOMO –
*By chattering less on social media and social sites.
* By avoiding binge-watching every TV series or OTT hullabaloo because humanity has gone crazy over it.
*By constantly evading the urge to check on my mobile phone for the latest updates or posts.
*By emphatically turning down social groups that indulge in excessive boozing, careless hogging and mindless gossip.
*By virtually avoiding pompous events and parties as a show-off of stinking wealth and pseudo-intellectualism.
*Bull-shitting people who claim to possess expertise on everything beneath the sun and on Earth and try judging me and my work.
Stop indulging in other people’s lives if you want to fly free in the blue skies. At times people may tag you as arrogant or big-headed – so what? You are not here to earn kudos from Tom, Dick or Harry. I am not convincing you to become a compulsive introvert. I suggest you find happiness and joy in yourself and transform your occasional FOMO into a permanent JOMO.
Yet another term popped up – YOLO – ‘You Only Live Once’. Well, YOLO and JOMO make for a successful marriage. How about dumping and divorcing FOMO for good?
“Don’t let FOMO – Delay your goals . . . Embrace JOMO – Crush your goals.”