Hate is often more about the hater than the hated. A mixture of personal insecurities, misunderstandings, childhood trauma, personal struggles, cultural comparisons, or external influences can cause it.

There is a whiff of jealousy, inadequacy, and frustration in haters towards more confident, booming, or content people. There is a gross lack of understanding and a fear of change. Peer pressure or a desire to fit in can lead haters to join others in hating someone, even without personal grievances.

“I hate you”. . . How commonly do we say this or feed our minds?

Hatred is an emotional reaction—a temporary phase or attitude toward a person, place, or situation that lasts for some time and then goes away.

The best way to deal with hate is not to retaliate or argue but to turn the haters into favourites. This can be achieved by showing genuine kindness and compassion, understanding their perspective, and not taking their hate personally. By applying these strategies, you can transform negativity into admiration. This may take time, but understanding and empathy can inspire that shift.

How about the hatred that is born out of jealousy and personal complexity? A feeling that devastates you and torments you mentally and emotionally every time you think of or see the concerned person or situation.

Let’s analyse two situations – hating someone or being hated by someone.

While growing up, I was not too fond of excessive interference from my next-door uncle, my fidgety maths teacher, the rowdy backbenchers, some seniors in the medical college, and the girls who denied my friendship, etc. My energy and liveliness dissipated in hatred, while the target was ignorant of the antipathy. What was the point of my one-sided struggle and frustration?

No matter how good or cool you are, someone will always be against you. Instead of being the ‘hater’s conscience, ‘be the ‘hater’s pride.’ The haters fear that they won’t stand before you and curse themselves for not achieving what you have in your life—you are a reflection of what they wish to be. Use this understanding to fuel your self-confidence and success, turning your hate into a source of pride.

‘Haters are my favourites — they keep pelting stones and bricks at me that I use to fortify and resurrect the fortress of success around me.’

Some people doubted my abilities, so I accepted the challenge without paying heed to their hatred and secured the pedestal I dreamt of. They hate me again out of jealousy, but these are my favourites because they unknowingly infuse me with tremendous energy to run the ultimate marathon. If someone says, ‘Hey, you can’t do this,’ they show incompetence and limitations that are not yours.

“Do you have a hater who is doing better than you?” Well, it is possible. Hate isn’t always about what someone lacks—sometimes, it stems from internal struggles unrelated to external achievements. Some people seek to elevate their sense of worth by bringing others down, even if they’re objectively successful. They have a different definition of ‘Better’.

Success is subjective; a person might be better off or more established but still feel lacking in certain areas, like maintaining relationships, creativity, or happiness, and become jealous of someone who excels.

Why should we waste time and energy detesting the haters?—get busy loving lovers and admirers.

Hate is a predisposition and a personality trait. It is a negative emotion endured by many people. They are on the lookout for targets to exude their ire. They hate you if you are handsome . . . hate you if you are ugly . . . hate you for your poverty and hate you for your wealth and prosperity. No matter what, they hate you because you carry the image of who they wish to become. Moreover, they need clarification about why everyone loves and adores you.

‘Haters are like crickets – they make much noise you can hear, but you never see them – then you walk right by them, and they are quiet.’ The people who gossip behind your back are eventually at your back, right where they belong — they do it when they can’t find anything wrong with you.

 Use hatred as motivation and patiently shove your success into the hater’s face. “Dear hater, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for.”

I am ‘awesome’, which ends with ‘me’. . . and ‘ugly’, which starts with ‘U’. But remember, it’s not about what others think; it’s about how you see yourself. Embrace your ‘awesome’ and let it shine, regardless of the ‘ugly’ others may try to project onto you.

While posting on social media, we often seek validation through ‘likes’ and compare ourselves to others. But the truth is, a ‘like’ doesn’t always mean appreciation or admiration. We interpret the absence of ‘likes’ as hatred when, in reality, it’s just indifference. Don’t waste your energy on those who don’t appreciate you; focus on those who do.

The enigma is that if you hate me but still watch and check out everything I do or post, then come on, face it—you are a fan. ‘Hey, I need new haters—the old ones are my fans now.’ It’s a powerful feeling to turn negativity into positivity and a testament to your strength and resilience.

I firmly believe it’s better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. So let the haters have their day and hate you – you love them and make them your favourites.

 

“You have enemies – Good, that means you have stood up for something – sometime in your life.” WINSTON S. CHURCHILL.

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