Life & Love,Relationships

FATHOM ‘COMPANIONSHIP’ – DON’T STOOP AND COMPROMISE WHEN ‘LONELY’. 

 

Companionship is a feeling of fellowship or friendship. Every living being, including plants, needs it for survival and physical and emotional propagation. Is companionship the mantra to get away from loneliness? Yes, to some extent, it is valid! But should one stoop, smothering self-respect and self-worth, to be with someone else?

 

While travelling on a bus, train or flight, we converse with our co-passengers. The tête-à-tête may be pleasant, or it may be a disaster.

Once, while flying from London to New York, I had a chance to share a seat with a Grammy Winner from the USA. Over eight hours of the flying ordeal, we talked about anything and everything about both Indian and Western music. So far, so good – but the guy kept pushing me to consume free wine. By the time I landed at JFK, I was stoned and dizzy. Somehow, I managed to continue my journey to Houston. Now, how would you rate this companionship? A boon or a curse?

Whether we want casual or meaningful companionship, the choice is entirely ours. The co-passengers decide the course and level of the communiqué after understanding each other’s intellect and emotional insight. Who would like to converse with a villager about the stock market? — Talking about current weather reports and the affect on his crop would suit him.

Having a conversation and finding meaningful companionship are two different things. Going around the city’s mundane elite parties (page 3 stuff), I realised that most dialogues don’t exceed “Hello – How are you – Long time – Kee Haal jee? Etc. Then you move, landing up in the domain of another plastic face. Is this the ‘companionship’ that one is looking for? Well, I don’t – certainly not.

Companionship comes from friendships, and in a world where relationships turn into mere acquaintances, the soul of true camaraderie is lost.

Begging for companionship is the saddest thing to do. The manipulation and constant endeavour to capture someone’s attention is pathetic and short-lived. Mr Singh, a leading businessman, stoops to acquire alliances with the prominent Government Officials in the city. Loading them with gifts, throwing lavish private parties and sweating to get a social click with them is Mr Singh’s biggest fad. His office’s walls flaunt all sizes and shapes of randomly clicked pictures. Isn’t this stooping or buttering on both sides to acquire companionship? I don’t think these people even value the real meaning of togetherness.

People who have never known the deep intimacy and intense companionship of a joyful mutual bonding have missed the best in life. Joy shared is joy doubled.

Avinash endured, nurturing meaningful relationships. He infused significant effort into fostering them. He believed in emotional longevity and verbal sensitivity. He was, however, unfortunate that despite his trustworthiness, some friendships failed to survive because of untoward and uncalled-for circumstances. Avinash kept moving and infusing his might into new alliances. Was loneliness the reason for his pursuit? I guess NO. There was an element of Emotional Promiscuity in his behaviour. Avinash kept his self-respect intact by never stooping to secure any relationship. I am sure this behaviour is positive, giving meaning and a fresh lease on life.

I have distinct memories of my childhood when I factually stooped to get the attention of a fellow boy who bullied me and displayed an enormous attitude towards me. The more the boy’s arrogance, the more my vulnerability and begging. It became a problem. I nursed my naïve emotions of loneliness because of the boy’s callousness. Thankfully, intellect seeped in with age, and I was saved from further damage to my persona.

The best companionship comes when the person doesn’t look elsewhere but finds it inside himself. The meaningful camaraderie between the mind and the heart quenches the emotional promiscuity of wandering, and the person becomes utterly self-aware of his inner self. There is no stooping or sacrificing self-respect on the altar of emotional gratification.

It is wise to embrace the feeling of being abandoned sometimes. The deepest self comes alive and warns of the thought of you being its closest companion.

 

My favourite quote is – “Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.”

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Dr Ashok Kumar Ojha says:

    The blog”Fathom companionship -Don’t stoop and compromise when lonely ” reflects an individual’s persona. Since childhood, growing up in an environment of different colleagues or friends with a different background in their mindset is akin to a clean slate when one would like to jot down his future. We know some hail from a wealthier background and were fluent at spoken language preferably english, are being admired by one and all. Everyone look forward to him or her for a sound companionship. It was an obvious phenomenon. Now, at times if they disrespect you, you will not mind, thinking that they may get annoyed and your friendship may be in doldrums.
    You slowly try to mend ways and compromise on your self respect also.
    We have to be very honest and sincere while making friendship or companionship that should have an element of love, honesty and truthfulness. Then only a long lasting companionship will thrive. There is no other better anecdote in our mythology related to lord Krishna’s life. Living a life of a pauper, Sudama who was a childhood friend of Lord Krishna had lots of self respect. His self respect never allowed him to bow down before others.He would have easily gone to Dwarka where his childhood friend Lord Krishna who reigned the Dwarika empire and would have sought help. But he never did. Ultimately when his wife forced him to go and ask for a help from Krishna he went there. Rest is the history.Such was lord Krishna’s magnanimous heart that he gave the whole universe as an alm to Sudama. So companionship reqires a feeling of understanding your friend’s agony,love and hardship. If one understands it, then only a long lasting companionship will prevail and sustain.. Too good Anuj..

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Wow . . . you wrote a blog yourself. I relate to it so well whenever you write something, as we share the same childhood. I distinctly remember the complex we used to have with the sector five people who tried to prove a class. Anyway, that was an excellent phase of our lives.
      I love the example of Lord Krishna and Sudama. That’s very apt.
      Thanks for your feedback, dear.

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