A relationship is about experiencing emotional depth, sharing experiences and mutual support that nurtures joy, comfort, and growth in the people involved. Trust and love are the forte for withstanding the challenges and untoward encounters, making life worth living, rich and eloquent. Such an alliance should bring ‘happiness,’ not a feeling of triumph at the point of victory, massaging an ego, or proving oneself ‘right’.
Is parental love about proving a point or just being right? Can acting as a ‘Father right’ or a ‘Mother right’ bring happiness to a family? Children might falsely idolise their parent’s superiority out of force or social pressure, but they will certainly not be a joyous breed. The intimidation must be replaced by candid affection that brings joy to the child.
With changing norms, in present-day times, instead of half a dozen offspring, either none or one child quenches the parenthood thirst. The overzealous parent’s emotional endeavour is to cultivate the lone child, making him proficient in all trades beyond his mental and intellectual capacity. What remains is a mechanical Robot that gives a plastic smile to his ‘Right’ parents, resurrecting the ruins of his unhappy childhood.
‘Oh, my husband loves me and loads me with money and gifts.’ Ms. X gloats and boasts at the kitty parties, trying to impress the other similar Xs. She thinks her husband is doing the right thing by congesting mundane gestures. But is she pleased? The husband manipulates righteousness by throwing away money and buying farce happiness for his better half. He becomes Mr. ‘Right’ Husband.,
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In a marriage, prioritising happiness and understanding over being ‘right’ in every way is rational. Winning an argument and self-massaging of ego should be shoved, and building a strong connection based on mutual respect and happiness should be looked after.
‘There is nothing right or wrong in love. Love is divine happiness.’ A relationship vested in trying to match right and wrong in the balance of mutual understanding is not love; it is a manipulative alliance. True love involves a deep sense of care and an unbiased willingness to navigate the challenges. Like all roads leading to Rome, genuine love in relationships leads to happiness.
It is mandatory to prioritise both partners for being correct and content. It is not always about choosing one over the other; it is about feeling perceived and cherished, leading to the choice between being right and happy. The commune of two personalities is like a chemical equation; if there is any reaction, they transform into a joyous product of the other. Beauty is when the most unexpected joy happens in a relationship.
Being right does not mean that everything is perfect. Happiness seeps in when one decides to look beyond his imperfections.
How often have you experienced one person’s company where you do not have to work hard to achieve harmony and happiness? It just happens. The crux is that no one proves a point by buttering. The other person puts your joy on the same level as his.
‘Never fall in love to make yourself happy. Fall in love to make the person you fall in love with HAPPY.’
My favourite quote reads: “You do not need to be perfect together. You need to be happy together.”
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Beautifully penned sir. This tussle between being correct and being happy in a relationship is a complex question with many facets to it and a single answer cannot be used to comprehend it. The choice is fairly easy when the relation is between two people at different stages in life- parent/child , teacher/student etc when 1 person is the assumed leader. For two equals, it’s a tough balance. When we seek correctness, we choose it because it is what will make us feel good about ourselves, so it’s our happiness over the partners in a way. But also, if you always choose the other persons happiness over correctness, it’s escapism to avoid conflict and dialogue and that’s not a good place to be in either.
Just some thoughts I wished to share
Thank you so much for the feedback. I appreciate your point of view. I agree that with two equals the balancing becomes tough. I feel that the go comes in between.
regards