The state of necessitating or craving for somebody and something is Dependence.
Having significant influence, authority or value over a person is Importance.
We tend to develop a Dependence on Bed Tea, a Vodka shot, a Fag or a Handful of Drugs.
But how about developing a Dependence on a particular person or relationship?
Dependence on someone
Dependence on (Psychological Emotional or Physical).
a person for happiness is the most lethal proposition, and rather foolish.
To imply that “Psychological dependence” is not as serious as “Physical dependence” represents a myth; in reality, these two designations do not exist as mutually exclusive categories and therefore cannot be contrasted as if they exist separately from one another.
Physical Dependence is More Materialistic than Sensitive or Spiritualistic Dependence.
Angad was depressed and felt dejected because his friends didn’t visit him while he was in the hospital, fighting a post-operative situation. His girlfriend didn’t turn up either. Angad’s bodily and medical needs were, however, well taken care of by his family and the nursing staff.
Why do we relate our Emotional needs with Physical needs and then get unhappy and sulk? Why did Angad depend on the mere physical presence of his friends for comfort and happiness?
“Learn to carry yourself on your back. People will drop you quicker than they picked you up.”
Give Importance to someone in life
who matter and carry the intellect of your calibre and requirements. Do not depend on them.
Again, there is a line of control, for the extent and fathom of Importance that anyone should be given.
“The more importance you give, the less important you become.”
STEVE JOBS quoted, “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
‘Giving Importance’ and ‘Feeling Important’ in someone’s life are two different things. “If you ever feel that you are no longer important to someone, then leave their life silently.”
Try to be your own before you can be anyone else’s.
Being Dependent on someone may become a disease and later a mental illness.
I know people who are unable to make their decisions and run after their superiors for advice on trivial matters concerning their professional and personal lives. Their minds are so immature that they cannot decide things emphatically. They need a shoulder to fall upon. This is a personality trait, and people live with Dependence.
“Don’t base your decisions on the advice of those who don’t have to deal with the results.”
Dependency is usually rooted in childhood and often a child grows up in a home where his emotions are ignored and punished. This emotional neglect can lead to low self-esteem and shame.
For the most part, Emotional Dependence does not pave the way for healthier and more long-lasting relationships. Emotionally dependent people typically need a lot of reassurance and emotional support from their partners and friends. They make a hell of a living, and they don’t let their partner live in peace.
They feel helpless, passive or incapable of taking care of themselves.
“You are dependent if you allow the weaknesses of other people to ruin your emotional life.” STEPHEN COVEY
Are we making people dependent on us?
Do we exploit people who give us the importance and in turn make them dependent on us?
Do we use vulnerable people’s sensitivity to quench our childhood emotional void and ruthlessly play with their sentiments, making them absolutely reliant on us?
“For everyone, you create to be dependent on you; you are equally dependent on them. Neither relationship is healthy.” ALAN COHEN
The more Importance you give people, the greater your chances of believing that you are dependent on them. You keep giving yourself away out of Humility and Modesty. But the beneficiary is playing a different game with your sensitivity.
No one in this world is more important than you. Let your mind and heart become dependent on each other. You come closer to your heart when the mind and heart start functioning in ‘Intellectual Unison’ and ‘Emotional Harmony’. Being dependent on the outside world can distance you from yourself. Growth comes when you learn from your mistakes and triumphs.
People are like shadows which leave in the dark, making you sullen and lonely.
“Don’t be the person who needs someone; be the person who someone needs”.