COMING OUT OF THE CLOSETS . . . Leaving the toxic relationships. 


“My heart is a small closet of emotions, and my mind is a large wardrobe of thoughts.”

I have an overwhelming collection of thoughts, ideas, speculations, judgement and perceptions that clutter my mind to the extent of giving me a Migraine. I need to vacuum out the filth now and then to preserve my sanity. Unfortunately, it is like squeezing out water from a sponge – the more I squeeze out, the more water it sucks back . . . What to do?

My heart is a calm and innocent place. It holds a small closet that stores my genuine emotions, honest passions, truthful sentiments, and sincere love. Here I nurture my relationships and emotional alliances.

Do we all foster and build similar closets in our hearts? Yes, we do.

But sometimes, we need to break the shackles and get out of the impending toxicity that clouds our sentiments. We need to breathe and inhale the oxygen of peace and relaxation rather than huff the drudgery of pungent and poisonous gases. We want to liberate ourselves from the venom of sick and haggard relationships and bitterness of thoughts and tell the world – “yes, this is what I am – accept me!”

This is . . .

Coming Out Of The Closet Leaving The Toxic Relationships

“Why me?. . Why do I have to suffer?” So many times, this question muddles our thinking.

There is a lurking fear and apprehension about breaking open due to peer and societal pressure. We cannot behold the valour to spill the emotions that have survived within us for so long. We are mentally asphyxiated and curse our loneliness but cannot communicate because we are too unsure about the other person’s comprehension.

‘Open the closet and open hearts and minds – Open the door, and others will follow behind.’


There is an enormous millstone of lies, farce promises, and manipulations that we carry with us on our shoulders.

Why should we carry the load of sustaining and tolerating the noxious associations that don’t give us space and deny us the freedom to feel and believe in what we are?

Why can’t we be what we are and not be a spider’s larva in a cocoon?

Our self-assurance needs to be powerfully inculcated and hammered that there is nothing wrong with us. There is, in fact, a lot wrong with the world we live in.

Everyone has a closet to come out of – we are not the only ones.

We spend our entire lives being in the closet about one thing or the other. Believe that life can be more comfortable if we are honest and open about everything.

“If Harry Potter taught us anything, it’s that no one should live in the closet.”


We talk of work capability and the social viability of an ace for our kith and kin. All young people and aspiring students, regardless of orientation or distinctiveness, deserve an innocuous and sympathetic environment to excel in. To achieve this, they need to nullify the apprehension of being ostracised by those around them. In the process, they may trip and fall on their faces in front of the pseudo glitter of cliché. But eventually, they will discover that years of silence and reflection made them stronger. They will take minimal efforts to pulverise the closet and reveal to the world their actual identity.

Mind you – the strength has to come from within.

An enormous power builds like an inferno that conquers the emotions we never realised existed deep down within us. Once we stand up for the cause – others will stand up too.

“The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you that you have told them”.


You have to learn to conquer the pain of self-imposed seclusion. You forced your spirit, your mental health and your relationships to grieve. You get exhausted standing alone, hiding and telling lies by omission. Why should you apologise for revealing the truth? You should feel like a Monarch when you stand with authority on the other side of all that pain. It’s a game of simple mathematics of gain and loss. Try to build a confluence of your personal and professional life – be in control of the situation and be happy with the outcome.

“This is my life, and I am in the driver’s seat. No one is allowed to trespass on the precipice of my personal and emotional energies. It’s me who has to choose what stays and what goes outside my domain. I have one life to live, and I will leave no stone unturned to make myself happy and contented. No one can make me feel guilty because of their mundane perceptions about my actions.”

“It’s me and only me who is going to survive with myself – I am not selfishly accepting this . . for sure.”






You may also like...


  1. Hi Doctor
    Very well said.
    Self disclosure is important to connect but the listener should be chosen with sufficient discretion. Also it cannot be one sided. You obviously would disclose to who is willing to truly listen, not just pick up on your feelings to gossip about. Best thing about it is it clears misunderstandings and at times makes both wiser.
    Regards RG

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Hi RG
      yes, self-disclosure is important. lucky ones are those who get the right person to confide in. Communication is important, but more than that comprehension is important.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.