Be born free…how much are we controlled….

Are We Free?

I don’t think we are!

Childhood was controlled by our worthy parents, adolescence by teachers and friends, followed by ENDLESS control by our loving and doting spouses, and not to miss the Boss at work.

Life is like a school class with every action answerable and monitored by different faces that keep changing with time. Life becomes a robot that we eat, play with, and propagate under the umbrella of protocol and control.

Why do we surrender to control?

Well, some may say that it is a disciplined life. Ok, Cool! But I feel that instead of succumbing to the external sources of forced control, we should be governed by a silent protocol of self-control.

Why does a wife  ‘toko’ her diabetic husband not to have Rasgullas? or pester him to quit drinking and smoking.
Why does a Husband ‘ toko’ his spendthrift wife to control unnecessary shopping?
Why do parents ‘toko’ their adolescent children to avoid late nights in relationships?
Why are we open to this TOKO SYSTEM.?

This comes into play when we aren’t confident in Self-Control. A person with staunch and religious Self-Control is above any External Toko baazi. It comes with practice.

Just follow a few principles so that no one has the right to rub you in the wrong place and at the wrong time.

Get rid of the past

The biggest problem arises when we allow the past to control our present. The incidents that have rolled back with time, try to overpower our present decisions, making us a slave. We slog through the negativity of relationships that do not let us breathe, and instead control our present alliances.
Rightly said —
“The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow”…Bob Marley

Shun other people’s opinion
There is a breed in our society called Opinion Gurus.
These people have actually ruined their lives and achieved zero. But they will suggest to you how to control your weight ( they forget to see their potbelly); how to deal with your spouse and children; what colour to use for painting your house etc.
Show these pleasure-seekers the door is open. It’s your life and you have the right to make these decisions. Other’s opinion should have no bearing or control over you.
“Listen but don’t fizzle!”

Disbelieving beliefs
We should not be guided by a set of beliefs. Don’t let Religion, Astrology or any kind of Voodoo overpower your mind and heart. Millions of insignificant and impotent beliefs can ruin your daily activities and relationships. Do what your intellect suggests.
Religion is to make you sober and poised. It is not to make you a domestic help; to kneel down every time you step out of the house. Understand astrology but don’t kill your life to follow the whims of a next-door soothsayer. No one can control your destiny; you make your own.

Overbearing relationships
Understand the significance and commitment of relationships. From blood relations to friendships, all have a bearing on us. They do shape our careers and personalities, but in the end, it’s US, WE and ME.
Be to yourself and figure out the yellow line and the Redline. You have to decide when someone needs to cross the line. Don’t let emotional weakness break your knees. Do what is best for you without a selfish motive, and give due regards to every relationship.

Money and assets
Money does matter, so do the assets. After all, we do need bread and butter to survive. In the terms of Hindu Mythology..control the Laxmi and be controlled by Saraswati. Don’t let things go the other way.
We have a powerful intellect and knowledge. Let our life be controlled by our intuition and haunches. Money should provide us with a better and comfortable life, but should not be given the liberty to start monitoring our life, relationships and routine.
Drugs and abuse
Mr X was to perform live during a Gala Banquet evening. He is a distinguished singer, but can’t perform before pushing a couple of large Whiskey pegs down his gullet. Because of some management paucity, the alcohol wasn’t available at the right time. The performance was delayed until after the provisions were made.
Ms Y is a leading Gynecologist in the city. The moment she feels low, she pops in a couple of green capsules to boost her sagging spirits.
Mr Z is a leading lawyer. He has to take drugs before appearing in court for arbitration. These are a few examples of Drug and Alcohol abuse that X Y Z need to function normally.
People with such high intelligence quotients are controlled not by their intellect, but by two rupee concoctions. Withdraw the abuse and they will be like pathetic pieces of Walrus meat, gyrating in a sunbath.

Hold the reins of your life.
Control the Horses of your destiny by galloping under your predetermined guidance. The jubilation to win the Derby will be exotic when you know which track to follow.

Don’t look sideways either. Enjoy the pinnacle of crossing the winning line with your efforts.

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1 Comment

  1. Very nicely written and explained.
    People do come out of their door to give suggestions to others . Self checking is the best practicing way to build a healthy relation.
    Keep it up ,dr. Anuj.

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