Life & Love


To show concern is a matter of interest or importance, which includes anxiety and worry. To pamper is to indulge with utmost attention, to provide comfort and kindness to the extent of spoiling. However, a thin line exists between the two. Good parenting and nurturing relationships require positive concern – pampering with over-indulgence and easy availability or provision is negative.

I am a health freak, concerned about my diet, workouts, and my illnesses. I am a workaholic and slog around at work, assuring myself and my family a decent life. However, occasionally, I love to pamper myself by going on a solo shopping spree, having a sumptuous Mughlai meal at my favourite joint or a full-body massage at a spa.

Parents show ‘concern’ by genuinely caring about their children’s physical and emotional well-being. They offer unconditional support and are there for them when needed. It is about being empathetic and providing help when truly necessary.

The concern might shift to ‘pampering’ when the parent becomes overprotective or does something for the child when he can do things independently. Pampering unintentionally hinders a child’s personal growth and falters self-sufficiency.

To strike a healthy balance between concern and pampering, it is crucial to have open communication that understands the individual’s preferences and boundaries.

The problems arise in one-child families when the parent’s genuine concern for the child is imperfect and manipulated by the grandparent’s pampering. There is a tussle of ego with a point to prove, and the child suffers a roller-coaster ride in understanding the jugglery of concern and pampering. The children who need love most will ask for it in the most unloving ways.

The foundation of a long-lasting romantic relationship is based on the concern the two have for each other. The more mutual respect and faith, the more profound the love.

‘Don’t talk – just act, don’t say—just show, don’t promise—just prove’ is a well-deserved and cherished relationship formula. It is a matter of concern.

Situations may erect walls of aloofness, not to keep people out but to encourage others to break them by showing deep concern and worthiness.

However, when the Concern shifts to Pampering and the two start massaging the other’s ego, this is the beginning of the end. For a healthy relationship, it is essential to balance showing affection and care while respecting personal boundaries and fostering independence. Proper communication and understanding each other’s needs are critical to a successful and lasting relationship.

A moderate pampering with genuine care can strengthen these bonds.

The nasty side of pampering

*Leads to dependency — making one’s partner overly reliant on the other for emotional well-being, happiness, and contentment. This stifles personal growth and independence.

*Disparity of power — leading to resentment or feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes, you need to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes, you mean nothing to someone who means everything to you.

*Dwindling Attraction—Excessive pampering nurtures the deterioration of excitement and passion. The challenges and spontaneity that keep romance alive are doomed.

*Taken for granted – If one partner gets used to being pampered, they understand it as the norm. Not meeting expectations leads to dismay, disappointment, and destructive conflict.


The million-dollar formula of DE-STRESS is to pamper yourself efficiently because, come what may, you will never judge yourself or indulge in unnecessary expectations. Pampering yourself is an act of self-love and self-respect and a reminder that you are worth every bit of love and care you receive. The mind overflows with concentration when the body is pampered. A kid inside me wants a person to pamper him, hug him tightly, spoil him, love him, and never leave him.

 ‘Treat yourself as the Queen, and you will attract the King.’ And vice versa.

“Be concerned about the people, relationships, things and the whole world – but Pamper, yourself – ONLY YOURSELF.”











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  1. Janice D'Cunha says:

    Every word emphasised in your blog made tremendous sense to me. I have to admit that unintentionally I was unaware of mistakes made. I loved the para on self pampering, who else, better than me can resort to this. I adhere to it strictly. Thanks Doc for sharing profound thoughts through your blog.🙏💯

    1. Dr. Anuj says:

      Thank you very much for the appreciation. yes, we do need to pamper ourselves more than anyone else.

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