ADULATION IS ‘POSITIVE’, BUT WHAT, IF IT IS FLATTERY AND SYCOPHANCY?

Who doesn’t love Adulation, Praise at work, Physical Admiration, and Exaltation while performing on stage? WE ALL DO. But is the glitz of that pseudo-pedestal steady and heart-warming when you realize that it is Flattery and Sycophancy? Some may thrive on that, but it seems like a cooked-up and farce admiration somewhere in the psyche. I don’t approve of it – Sorry!

A mother admires her child’s growth and mannerisms, a lover admires his beloved’s prettiness, and a traveler admires Nature’s beauty. There is virtue in admiration. Genuine admiration by a pleasing person is wonder mingled with a feeling of excitement.

There is a very thin line between ADMIRATION and ADULATION.

Adulation in itself incites a flavor of flattery and fulsome praise. Adulation is given for achievement or feat and there is no scale to fathom how much jealousy and prejudice are amalgamated into the giver’s intentions.

The game of adulation is sordidly nurtured by the farce approval of the person or people. Go to a ‘live stage performance’ and see the performers and the MCs begging for claps from the audience. It gives a high boost to the artists. Being a performer myself, I appreciate claps and pats when they come on their own, not when I am begging for them.

A friend of mine was in the habit of adulating on the lady’s face – ‘Oh, the food is so good. You are indeed a great cook.’ The moment he stepped out of the house, he lamented – ‘Oh the food was atrociously bad.’ On my objecting to this dual character and sycophancy he said, ‘What’s wrong with my flattery if it makes the other person feel good?’ Well, what to say about these breeds? These creatures flourish in every nook of the social corner. It’s not very difficult to identify them.

Looking into the history of adulation and flattery we acknowledge that admiration was always there but flattery and sycophancy came into being when Tyranny came into existence. In the sycophants’ minds, there is an opportunistic resolution to gain an advantage over their superiors by showing extreme obedience or flattery. They can go to extremes, smothering their self-respect in the process. During the King’s reign, sycophants were hired in the ‘Darbar’ to glorify His Highness’s pseudo accomplishments and masculinity. Higher was the flattery more were the rewards. Today’s politics stink with sycophants who have no identity and can stoop down to any extent in pleasing their leaders for personal gains and ulterior motives.

In the paradise of over-ambitious people, the species of flatterers breed freely like maggots. The ambitious endure adulterated praise. They don’t care if they are being rubbed at the wrong end for a price. They bask in their adoration. The irony is that flattery corrupts both the giver and the receiver. It doesn’t take anyone, anywhere in doing that.

Tell me, what good does it take to have a hundred friends who flatter you with false words? I would rather have a single enemy who has the guts to criticize me with truth and conviction. “There is nothing in the world harder than speaking the truth and nothing easier than flattery.”

At present we see something like ‘Mutual flattery’. You LIKE me, and I LIKE you. That’s what we see on social media sites like Facebook and Instagram. You can virtually buy people’s comments and LIKES. We flatter one another just to be flattered in return. Flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies. It feeds our ego and makes us feel good about ourselves. Hence, we are smitten by its charm and modulate our behavior. We have a natural tendency to respond more positively to situations and people that make us feel good about ourselves.

“Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don’t swallow it.”

Love relationships see a varied kind of flattery. A male can practice all kinds of flattery to woo a female. It can be financial, physical, and emotional. I don’t deny, females also yearn to be adored and adulated for their looks and mannerisms. Who cares about the truth? But, let me tell you, sensitive minds and emotional hearts can decipher that modus operandi and save themselves from being lured by their sycophant lovers. The proponents of ‘Shringar Rasa’ have penned volumes of poetry and prose, flattering female protagonists with hyperboles and blatant embellishments.

Life is a razor-edge walk between Adulation and Humiliation. Success and Failure go hand in hand on parallel rail tracks. The most stable and healthy self-esteem is based on the merit and reverence that you earn from the people around you. External fame is a farce and so is celebrity status that is nurtured by gratuitous adulation.

A self-worthy person doesn’t need validation, glorification, or adulation either. A productive mind with the essence of candid creativity leads a positive life, day in and day out. It says a lot without saying much and means a lot without demonstrating much. He is valiant enough to survive even when the adulation of life is gone. This is contrary to the coward who sneaks to his demise.

Sharing with you an interesting fact about GOSSIP and FLATTERY – “Gossip is saying behind their backs what you wouldn’t say to their face. Flattery is saying to their faces what you would not say behind their back.”

The day your mind adores your heart and your heart flatters your soul – you have lived your life in the true sense. Because there is no better admiration than genuine applause for your self-esteem and respect.

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